Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was being shipped to KFC.

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Knock Knock, Who's there? Alzheimer's Alzheimer's who? Knock Knock...

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Steve, what do I write on a 3946 if more than two vehicles were involved?

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What did the little girl who lost her baby teeth want for Christmas? A pony.

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What do get when you cross a truck and a cliff? Flames.

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What's the difference between Donald Trump and a refrigerator? Open a refrigerator and you will find food, typically refrigerated food like milk, eggs, you know, stuff like that.... When you open Donald Trump you will be charged with murder.

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Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

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Whats pink and silver and runs into walls? A baby with forks in its eyes. Whats green and silver and sits in a corner? The same baby three weeks later.

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try this on someone: Knock Knock Who's there? Knock Knock Who's There? Knock Knock They will keep asking who's there while you laugh

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Whats 1 foot long and went in and out of my girlfriend? Our new baby

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How do you make a plumber sad? You kill his family.

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Why did the jew break his iPhone? He dropped it when i shot him in the face.

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Why did the old man die? He was old.

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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who should be competing in the paralympics? Brent the retard!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Okay, seriously I'm done. I try to make a joke but I don't think I can do it anymore. I'm not funny I'm just a little coward who offers nothing to life. I should just kill myself. Fuck this joke, fuck you.

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A man named Carl walks into a bar and sees another man named Ed who has purple skin and is holding a chinchilla in one hand and a policeman's helmet in the other. Carl approaches Ed and asks, "Why is your skin purple and why are you holding a chinchilla in one hand and a policeman's helmet in the other?" Ed replies stating, "Well its actually a pretty funny story. I was sailing near cape cod and a saw a large whale jump out of the water, and that gave me a really good idea. So I sailed home immediately and wrote a very detailed novel about my days in Vietnam. The book was a success and I was able to make a large amount of money. However, unfortunately I became addicted to cocaine and wasted all of my money and had to live on the streets. Since then, I have cleaned up my act and am working again and have a house. I decided to treat myself to a night out and so I came here and painted myself purple. Then, I found this chinchilla and policeman's helmet on the floor and decided to hold onto it until I find the owner. Now that I think about it, that story isn't very funny. I apologize." Carl then accepted the apology and the two had a drink together and are still good friends today.

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What do you call a person who uses food stamps? Poor. What do you call a black person who uses food stamps? Still poor.

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How do I become successful like you dad? Just do good.

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Your mama is so fat, we are all severely concerned for her health

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Guy 1: When your Justin Beiber af. Guy 2: What Guy 1: Do you mean

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Person 1: I have one question: What are those?!?!?!?!?! Person 2 : Their shoes you Dimwit. Person 1: (runs away crying) -by Mekkhi

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today in aa we were telling stories one of them was: that a girl put a wet cat (to dry it) in the oven

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Q: What would George Washinton do if he was alive today? A: Scream and scratch at the top of his coffin.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops