What does a person that is fasting get for Christmas? Food.

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a guy walks into a bar. he buys several drinks, ends up drunk, and crashes into a coffee shop with a goat in the backseat.

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Hummer.

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what smells like red paint, but tastes blue? my heroine OD panflets

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Simon walks into a bar. He orders his favorite beer. The bartender says "Hey Simon, I see you're back with the usual, aye?" Simon says "Touch you tongue to your elbow." The bartender couldn't do it.

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Why was six afraid of seven? He wasn't. that joke is just a way to convince you that seven is a scary number.

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what did the therapist say to the other therapist? WE'VE SAID THIS WAY TOO MANY TIMES YOU SHIT

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Why was the women's underwear red?... Because she got stabbed.

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-What's the difference between a frog? - it jumps higher.

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Why didn't the man buy the sportscar? He couldn't drive stick

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was running. From the forest. That hell hole. He had got away, but he could remember. The darkness. The silence. Until the unmistakable scream of the guns and then- The Running. The Screaming. The Blood, oh the blood. Seeing Charlie. Oh, that damned soul Charlie. The bullet went right- But that was long ago. So long. But sometimes, in the silence, Chicken remembers. The Running. The Screaming. The Blood. And he screams.

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What did the English man say to the Japanese man? Nothing, they were incapable of conversation because of the language barrier created by the fact that neither had one another's language as a part of their curriculum.

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? Because, the farmer lacked basic fence mending skills

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What's worse than biting into a worm and finding an apple? Why would you bite into a worm?

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Wath black poeple eat for christmas your food.

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Why do women fake orgasms? Because they want to give men the impression that they have climaxed.

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Why did Billy cry? He had Pubic Lice

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Knock knock? Whose there? Who's. Who's who? No you used the wrong form of who's.

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A man named Cecil walks into a bar. He then orders a drink.

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What is the difference between a Jew and pizza? a pizza doesn't yell when it goes into an oven

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Did you hear the one about the flying turtle? No? Okay I'll tell you about it. So one day there was a flying turtle. His name was Larry and he was a turtle that can fly. However, nobody believed that Larry can fly and he wanted to prove it. So the next day George, who was a flying octopus, called Jerry on his cell phone and told him a story about a Larry. Jerry, who was a media reporter, was so offended by his story and called the police. Question: What did the police say? Nothing because it was a made up story

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American Idol

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What did a child without arms and legs get for Christmas present. Cancer.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The visitor is deaf and therefore does not have the ability to respond.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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