Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Sally.

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What do you call the offspring of an elephant? A baby elephant.

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Q. If your rowing a canoe up a tree, how many pancakes does it take to get to the moon? A. None because snakes don't have armpits.

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Get off my porch.

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why did my girlfriend fail her test? she was pregnant :'(

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How did Suzy die She choked on a Pick-Up Truck

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The t rex said to the textbook ............. Im not going to read you

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What do you say to a black man who is in your house at night-time, carrying your television? Sir, may you please put down the television as it belongs to me and I worked hard to earn the money to buy it. If you do not I will have to contact the authorities to deal with you in a correct and fair manner.

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Why did the homosexual man buy the antijoke book he enjoys reading

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"What's your name?" "Josephine." "Josephine?" "No, Josephine." "That's what I said." "I know,"

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Why did the black man get lynched? Because he committed eight murders and six double homicides, and the judge wanted him dead...

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How do you throw a party in space? You planet!

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a man sees a monkey playing the drums at first he thought it waz the guy in the monkey suit that plays the drums but on closer inspection he sees that it is in fact a real monkey on that note he tries to befriend the monkey but the monkey soon tore the man into pieces

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joe galasso from plainview ny

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How do you make a baby stop crying for the rest of its life? Shoot it in the face.

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there was a lesbian, a bi-sexual and a homosexual at a wine bar having a drink.......They had a great night

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What was the reason for the confused looking woman staring at the can of frozen Apple juice for twenty minutes? Some cans are difficult to open: The little ring bit comes off when you pull it, and then you have to work out a new way to open it, which takes patience and ingenuity.

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Jimmy clenches his fist, a crack his heard. Jimmy begins to cry knowing his arthritis has gotten worse.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Sugar is sweet And so are you BUT The roses are wilting The violets are dead The sugar bowl's empty And so is your head

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Guy walks into a bar. He orders a drink called "Vampire poison". The bartender gives him the drink. The man drinks it and dies. No he was not a vampire, he was just a man with a history of heart failures.

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What did one dog say to the other? Nothing silly...dogs can't talk.

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how do you wash clothes in the diswasher? you turn it on.

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What is the biggest fictional book ever made? Either the Bible, or the Dictionary.

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What do you call a man hit by a bus? Dead

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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