Two nineteenth century men walk into a bar. Their wives didn't complain, because if they did they'd get hit. hard.

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Why did the cookie go to the doctors? It didn't because cookies are Inanimate and are incapable of mobility

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A little blind girl goes up to her mum and says, "Mummy, mummy, when will I be able to see?" Her mum replies "I'll tell you what, I'll take you to the chemist and get you some special cream for your eyes and you will be able to see in the morning." So off they went to the chemist, got the cream, and went home, all the while the little girl was getting more and more excited at the prospect of being able to see again. Once they got home, the mother put the cream on the little girls eyes, wrapped a bandage around her head, and took her to bed. The following morning the little girl stumbled into her mums bedroom and excitedly shouted "Quick mummy, take off the bandage so that i will be able to see again." So the mother slowly took of all the bandages, taking her time, and all the while the little girl was getting more and more excited. Once they were off the little girl said "But mummy, I still can't see." To which the mother replied, "April fool!"

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Q) How many times did the woman jump off the cliff? A) Once she died.

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Why did the chicken commit suicide? To get to the other side

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so there are two muffins. no wait there are three muffins in an oven. actually it was a toaster oven. and they were covered in butter. uuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhh cheese on toast anyone?

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What's worse than getting raped by a black guy? Getting raped by a radioactive black guy

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Whats faster than a black guy with a tv? His brother who is a dentist and drives a fast sports car.

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Why did I write this anti-joke? Because I am generally not that funny.

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why was 7 afraid of 6?that is impossible it is older than six and stronger than its mother

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A man from timbuktu slept on a bed of nails. It was very uncomforable

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Why was the Cubs fan sad? His wife just left him.

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The chicks at the bar last night were do hot. The girls weren't half bad either

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there are 2 sausages in a pan. one sausage says "wow it's hot in here" and the other sausage says "MY GOD A TALKING SAUSAGE!!!!"

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What is the best way to avoid wrinkles as you age? Moisturise with a good quality moisturiser, use high factor suncream on the face, get plenty of sleep, drink plenty of fluids, wear a hat and sunglasses and stay in the shade between 11am and 3pm, and try to eat a diet that is heart-healthy (for example, wholegrain, oily fish, and/or flax seed), as heart failure over a long time leads to sagging skin with a loss of elasticity.

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There is a black guy a white guy and a Mexican, whose driving. The other black guy.

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Why was the homeless man begging for money? Because he needed money to buy liquer for his severe alcohol addiction that was slowly destroying his liver.

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How many moms does it take to screw in a light bulb? None. They make you do it!

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Well educated black man.

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What do you call cheese that you don't own? Cheese.

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Q: What is the difference between a Porsche and a pile of dead babies? A: I don't have a Porsche in my garage.

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in 2001 a man was working happily in his office cubicle and got an email from his boss saying that he had great news for him. filled with excitment he knew he was getting A big promotion and could finally afford that new toy his kid has always wanted. Feeling great the man walks up to the office window to enjoy the view he notices a very large commercial airliner flying straight towards his office.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate rhyming, Sandwich.

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White people talk like this 'HEY' Black people talk like this 'YO' Hundreds of thousands died in the civil war.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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