Whats Brown And Sticky?! My Shit!

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How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen take? Enough to kill Two and a Half Men.

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Why did the audience laugh at Chaz Bono? Because he told a funny joke.

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GIVE

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What did the girl with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Raped

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Bear walks into bar and says to eagle may I have a................... drink eagle says why the long pause hohahahohahahohaha

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So a dolphin is dropped off at a park and dies because he was out of the water to long.

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Me: Tell me I'm a fairy. You: You're a fairy. Me: Poof! You're a bag of shit!

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- I'm in my mum's car, broom broom. - Get out me car. - Aw.

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What do you get when you drink water? Piss.

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What's the best part about having sex with twenty-six year olds? They're of legal age to give consent.

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Why couldn't the kitten drink its milk? Because his face was stapled to the wall.

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Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

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What do you call a man wearing a costume similar to a stereotypical ghost? A mentally disabled man on halloween.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't because he lives in a chicken coop and has never even seen a road.

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Who would win in a fight between a polar bear and a tiger? Considering that they live in different habitats, the chances are very unlikely that they would ever interact.

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What did the midget say to the leprechaun? Nothing.....midgets don't usually converse with leprechauns....and leprechauns aren't real.

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A man comes home late from work what does he find? His wife and children murdered.

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A paraplegic wheels himself into a bar. The barman asks, 'What can I get you?' 'Nothing,' replies the paraplegic, 'I've just pissed myself and I need you to help me clean myself up.'

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What did the apple say to the pear? Fred, you are going insane and i'm getting a divorce.

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Roses are red My name is Dave This makes no sense Microwave

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3 men find a genie lamp on the side of a road, The genie grants them each a wish as they surely deserve. The first man asks for a jet and the genie glady grants him this and the man starts to fly away. The second man says to make a wall around asia and the genie complies. The third man thinks for a minute and finally says fill it with water and as a genie the genie cannot refuse. They all drowned seeing how the jet had no fuel. The genie goes back to sleep and is picked up by an alien 5,000 years in the future, the Earth is destroyed in 7012(as if we didnt already destroy it). The genie survives and currently resides on uranus.

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Roofs are Red...I have a Cunt!!!

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What do you call a guy with a rainbow tuxedo on? A classy man that is very well dressed

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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