hashtags suck balls

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Uh, summa lumma dooma lumma you assuming I'm a human What I gotta do to get it through to you I'm superhuman Innovative and I'm made of rubber, so that anything you say is Ricochet in off a me and it'll glue to you And I'm devastating more than ever demonstrating How to give a motherfuckin' audience a feeling like it's levitating Never fading, and I know that haters are forever waiting For the day that they can say I fell off, they'll be celebrating 'Cause I know the way to get 'em motivated

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What's the difference between a mexican and a park bench? One is a minority whose ancestors originally lived in the central american country of Mexico, the other is a useful convenience that provides a place to rest one's legs in a public place.

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Two gay guys walked in to a bar. It's unfair of me to make the assumption that they're gay, they just be really good friends whom aren't opposed to touching each other.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs in water? Drowning

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What's worse than pushing a baby off a cliff?........ Standing at the bottom with a pitchfork....!

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If pro is the oppisite of con what is the oppiste of progress Congress

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Why did the chicken crossed the ro- oh hell naw she crossed it.... No more chicken jokes, guys!!! She crossed it!!!

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Why was the girl crying? Because she was brutally raped

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A black guy and a Mexican are in a car. Q: Who's driving? A: The cops

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Your mother is so fat, she struggles to control her weight even with dieting. Obesity and heart disease runs is in her mother's side of the family; she and everyone close to her is very concerned.

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What do you call something thats mostly made of wood, big, round and stupid A retarded version of the Knights of the round table

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Five men walk into a bar. The bartender says, more taste or less? None of them care.

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What's funnier than a midget bungie jumping? Nothing

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How did the failing slut get an A -she studied really hard

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What does Pluto and a creamsicle have in common? Neither of them are a planet.

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What do you call 10 dead babies in a blender? A horrible, horrible child abuse incident.

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Why was Helen Keller's leg yellow? Because her dog was blind too.

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How did the chicken cross the road? Assuming the vehicles yielded to the chicken, it looked both directions before crossing then proceded across the street while staying between the crosswalk lines until it had reached the other side of the road.

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A blind man walks into a bar. He had a few drinks then went home.

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Yar! What be a pirate's favorite football team? The Steelers. I'm originally from Pittsburgh.

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How you learn to juggle? You ask someone for their balls.

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What do a rabbit and a plum have in common? -They're both purple except the rabbit.

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A man starts acting weird in a resturant, the waiter says "whats the problem sir?" The man says "I'm choking and I just died."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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