How do you make a fat man cry? You call him fat.

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What is worse than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees.

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Why are you so stupid? Becuse I spelled because wrong

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What's black and white and red all over? Michael Jackson after being hit by a train.

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Question: What do you call a Black person who cooks food at a fried chicken restaurant? Answer: A chef

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A Man goes into a watch store. Why? To buy a watch

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How did the square become a circle? Due to the period of recession in our nation, it was found necessary to cut corners.

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Q: What's worse than death? A: Nothing.

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Why couldn't the white child dunk the basketball? His legs were amputated and he has been confined to a wheelchair.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the chicken fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the monkey.

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What do you call a gay Mexican guy who is deaf, has no arms, no legs, and is bald? Whatever his name is.

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"How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator?" "Open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe, and close the door." "How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator?" "Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put in the elephant and close the door." "The Lion King is hosting an animal conference. All the animals attend.... except one. Which one?" "The Elephant. The elephant is in the refrigerator." "There is a river you must cross but it is used by crocodiles, and you do not have a boat." "You jump into the river and swim across. Have you not been listening? All the crocodiles are attending the Animal Meeting."

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An Irishman walks into a bar. He gets extremely drunk and gets hit by a train.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, so is my face, I'm constipated

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knock knock who's there bang bang bang bang who where da cash at

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Q. How did the blind man cross the road A. By an abmulance which took him to the hospital because his first attempt to cross was unsuccessful and the hospital was conventeintly located on the other side of the road.

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A man walks into a bar and says he has a talking dog. He is then taken to a mental hospital and diagnosed with schizophrenia.

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What's worse than a pile of dead babies A live one eating its way out!

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Three black men walk into a store at 2:00 in the morning, what happens next? They buy some snacks and leave.

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Why cant Michael J Fox draw a perfect circle? because he is dying of parkinson's disease.

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What did the broom say to the vacuum cleaner? "Your mom sucks."

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Need therapy? No you do not, just follow these steps. When someone feels suicidal, I ask them, so what would you do and feel when you are dead? People: First I think ill just chill like this, and then everything would be empty and no more noise like this here "holds hands over ears", and it would all just be black and nice afterwards.... Me: Stay in that state for a while. Human: Gee I am starting to feel better... Me: GEE YOU SUCK KILL YOURSELF NOW! 2. How to CURE PERMANENTLY (not treat over 30 years with no effect) someone that cant say no... First I let my victim enter the room, then I shut the door and shout "SAY NO TO ME YOU FUCKlNG WH000RE!" Victim: NOOOOOOO I CANT! Cured, stop wasting my fucking time NEXT 3. SUUUUUUUURE! Me: So you feel uncertain? Patient: Uh yeah... Me: Are you certain about that? Patient: You are just certain about you being certain which is not possible because you are uncertain NOW DIE! PROTIP: Death is the cure to all disease... NOOOOOOOT! (Postmortem disease no?) 4. I forgot this example. Anyway, I say something smart, you give me thumbs down because you are jelly, and then I eat you and I had some jelly.... I master nonsense, I am the jack of no trades and master of all.

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knock. knock. whos there? BOWLING SHOE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Knock knock Who's there? Yo mamma Nobody's home, go away mom

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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