two goldfish are in a tank they swim around happily and have no consciousness of what is happening because of their short memory.

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A man accidentally forgets his daughter at a Sizzler

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Why did the archaeologist bury his brother? Because he was dead.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Women's rights.

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Wanna hear my impersonation of a homosexual man? I am attracted to men.

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Hey Johnny what's after 2?? 3.

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Q: What do you call a Jew in space? A: An astronaut you racist bastard!

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What do you call a baby in a blender? The newest Doritos dip.

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If the 49ers won the superbowl

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Why don't gingerbread cookies have souls? Cookies don't have souls.

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You know what is worse than being dead...being at a Justin Bieber concert

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Q: Do you know what Lady Gaga make for his birthday? A: A party

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Q: What do you call a black man with no arms and no legs? A: Whatever his first name is.

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If little Timmy buys 80 candy bars and eats 67, how many candy bars does he have left? Diabetes. Timmy has diabetes. So he was disowned.

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a man checks his brand new cellphone to see if he has a text message... He has cancer

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Why couldn't the Asian man drive very well? He was blind from birth.

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Whats the same about a Mole and an Eagle? They both live underground, I lied about the Eagle.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It was hit by a fridge halfway through walking.

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What do you call a german soldier? A Nazi

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Did you hear about the black guy who went to college? No? Well, he graduated in 4 years with a degree in chemical engineering due to his diligence and good work ethic. He now has a well paying job that allows him to support his wife and two kids and to pay the mortgage on their large home.

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What did one homo-sexual say to his four homo-sexual friends? Were One Direction!!

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What's the difference between a duck? Nothing, they're both the same.

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Guy 1: So who did you have sex with? Guy 2: I was Fucking Austria. Guy 1: What do you mean? Guy 2: Look it up.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops