Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?? It got shot Why did the 2nd monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey

thumb_up thumb_down +12

You know what topping goes bad with ice cream? Chloroform

thumb_up thumb_down +10

your mom is so old, she is often confused for your grandmother.

thumb_up thumb_down

How did the black man get a new television? He worked hard and put away a small percentage of his weekly wage in order to save for this new addition to his household.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Not at all Nero, if humanity itself where better, you would never have had that pain you rather than carry seems to be stuck to you, what you call your armor, sounds more like a cage to me, it is no wonder that you lose faith in those that drag you down while you find peace and hope within yourself by helping them. I believe you got every right to lose hope in humanity at times, in my eyes you have always been much greater than them, you just seem to believe that if you fail at helping others, then you have failed yourself, remember that there are too many people that surrender in this world, that do not want to be helped back on their own feet rather than to be "shown the only way", you said it yourself, monkey see, monkey do is easy, too easy, and you never take the easy way. I am sorry if I copy your methods too much, it might seem to others as if you are chatting with yourself, which is just crazy, insane. silly, lets just say again that you just got a admirer in me, it cant be helped. Does this bother you?

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why can't Hellen Kelller drive? Because she's a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What happens when a black man spills all of his grape soda? He cleans it up and recycles the empty can

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a headache OUCH!

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What would happen if you put a marshmellow in a tractor Because 7, 8, 9

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from a fat emo girl with a knife

thumb_up thumb_down +5

what did one bum way to the other? we're shit out of luck

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie-roll center of a tootsie-pop? zero if you bite it

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Woman:I give my Heart to You! Man:Thank You!!! The Woman then dies because one can't live without a heart

thumb_up thumb_down -4

You are so ugly that when u were born, your mom was unable to breast-feed you because she would have to look at your face to do so.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

a man walks into a bar... he was then shot to death because he was a slave in the early 1800s

thumb_up thumb_down +1

what happens when you put samuel jackson on a plane with snakes? They make a movie

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A duck, a mailman, and a poet were contemplating suicide, then they changed their minds.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

A blind man walks into a bar. Nobody is surprised.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Wanna hear a joke? No.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

vn[oiaehsobv[khpogjglprljffknfsiphgeknkldfekageriyreojgyperogerpojregkeporg? cuase u stupid and this stupid joke is to

thumb_up thumb_down +66

A black man walks into a bank with a gun. He then clocks in and takes duty because he is a security guard at the bank.

thumb_up thumb_down

Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar. Everyone is amazed because he can now walk.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

I saw a man one day i saw him the next day and the next and the next i didn't see him ever again

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Magic Johnson has AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops