You're adopted.

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Have you noticed when you see geese flying and they're in a V pattern, often one side will be longer than the other? Do you know why that is? There are more geese on that side.

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Wanna hear a joke? No.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? We will never know. Chickens are incapable of communicating with humans and thus the intent of the chicken is subject to speculation.

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Two guys walk into a bar to get out of the rain and have a drink after a long day of work. The first guy orders a bottle of imported beer sits down and begins to drink. After waiting his turn the second guy also orders a bottle of imported beer but because he is Polish he does it incorrectly and awkwardly

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Why do dinosaurs have no friends? Because they are dead

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures.

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A boy asks his father how babies are made. The father responds, "Babies are created via coital sex. A man rhythmically inserts his erect penis into a woman's vagina until he ejaculates. If his semen successfully fertilizes her egg, a baby will slowly grow in her uterus. After roughly forty weeks of gestation, the baby will be born."

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs on the doorstep? Whatever his name happens to be.

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The Princess is in another castle

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"You two form fours while I get the other one"

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your sister has 1 boob thats funny

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why was it funny that the boy got a razor for christmas because he had leukemia

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What do you do when a taco eater eats your food? Beat him with the nearest black man's dick.

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What did the zombie say to the woman? I like turtles.

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once upon a time joey was on a roller coaster. Joey fell off the roller coaster and died.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms Why didn't Sally get back up? She had no legs Guess who's getting prosthetic legs for Christmas! Not Sally.

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What do you call 100 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A horrible boating accident.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Your dog pooped on my lawn Now my violets are even more blue

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Why was Frankenstein green? Because he painted himself green. Frankenstein is the scientist, not the monster.

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What turns red and explodes in a microwave A cat

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How many Alzheimer patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side!

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whats purple and not a rapist barney, I lied about the rapist part

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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