How do you break up a fight between two blacks I have ADD and Im proud of it

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p

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Q: what do you call a deer with no eyes A; roadkill

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There are 500 bricks on an airplane. If you drop one out, how many are left? 499. There are three steps to putting an elephant in a refrigerator. What are they? Open the fridge, put the elephant in, close the fridge. There are four steps to putting a deer in the fridge. What are they? Open the fridge, take the elephant out, put the deer in, close the fridge. The Lion King is having a birthday party. All the animals are there but one. Why is that? The deer is in the fridge. A woman wants to cross an alligator infested swamp. How does she do it? She crosses normally because the alligators are at the Lion King's party. She dies anyways. Why? She gets hit in the head with a brick.

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Q: whats big gray and cant swim A: a castle

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Boy it's sure cold out today. Die

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Persond A: A guy blows himself and his family up with a hand grenade Person B: HEY!!! Thats not funny thats how my family died

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What time is it? 2:47 PM.

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Two gophers are in a tank One of them says how the heck do you drive this thing?

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Three head lice are drinking beer on a scalp, then they are killed by a high strength medical shampoo.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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Q: How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if he tore his ACL last week trying out for wood chucking nationals? A: Woodchucks don't possess the ability to chuck wood, nor do they have ACLs.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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Why wasn't the child breastfed? Because it's mother died while in the process of giving birth and the father does not have the necessary mammary glands to produce human milk for the young child.

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person 1 - what's big, green and ugly? person 2 - don't know. what's big, green and ugly? person 1 - nothing is

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Why was the skeleton afraid to cross the road? He wasn't, and in fact was entirely unaware that said road existed given the fact that he was deceased; and therefore lacked any sensory organs and motor functions associated with crossing roads.

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What is the difference between a Ferrari and a bag of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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Knock Knock Who's there? There's a peephole on your door why don't you go ahead and look

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What does the orphan say to its parents? nothing, orphans dont have parents

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how do you get a clown off a swing. hit it with an apple in his nuts

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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What did the cow say to the butcher? At least I'm not a Jew.

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Why did the boy fail gym? He had cancer and had to amputate both of his legs.

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What do you do when your dishwasher stops working? Get it repaired.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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