What do you call a bird that can't fly? A dead bird

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What did the murderer get for Christmas? Executed.

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? he was epileptic

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What do you call a girl who can run faster than me? Virgin

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A Muslim, a Jew, and a Christian find a magical lamp with a genie inside. He offers each of them one wish. The Muslim wishes that people didn't look at his people as terrorists. The Jew wishes that the Holocaust never happened, and the Christian wishes for world peace. Actually this didn't happen, Genies don't exist.

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Q: Why are the Black Eyed Peas named the Black Eyed Peas? A: I don't know ask them yourself.

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What do you call a black scuba diver... A scuba diver.

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Why cant Jesus play rugby? Cause he's nailed to a cross

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Two men walk into a bar.........ouch.

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why did the boy get hit by a bus because he had ice cream.

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Why did the fat person build a lift in his house? He was caring for his terminally ill mother which has a cancer and got both her legs amputated due to the cancer spreading to her legs.

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A dyslexic woman goes into a saloon and asks for a hair cut. Oh right, she doesn't have hair! Then why the f*** would she enter the saloon? Because she wanted to get her nails done. But she doesn't have nails either, and she doesn't want to drink. She came there because she wanted to hook up with a guy!

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What did the baby get for its 1st birthday? Nothing it was aborted.

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What is green and red all over? A christmas tree that is internally bleading.

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what did the cop say to the robber... freeze bitch hope you like prison food and penis

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What do you get if you cross if you cross an overweight woman with a pair of very tight trousers? Exactly that, an overweight woman in inappropriately tight torusers.

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Heil Hitler!!!!!! Why thankyou General Himmler. Would you care to join me for supper this evening?

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Why is Dave's baby dead? Because his wife threw it into the path a Big-rig.

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Q: What is soft, fuzzy, and lives in the woods? A: Yeti

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Why did the car's airbag go off? He hit a boy eating his ice cream

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What's the difference between a leopard and a jaguar ? The rabbit flies faster, while the pigeon can breathe underwater.

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What happened when your mom closed the blinds? You.

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Where do babies come from? My garage

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What did the boy say to his dad when he realized he was gay? Dad, I'm gay.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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