What do you call a two headed platypus? Go ask him, I'm sure he has a name.

Roses are red..... violets are blue...... I have a gun get in the van

What's worse than a necrophobiac in a morgue? A necrophiliac. What's worse than a necrophiliac in a morgue? Seeing your family hacked to death by an evil axe murderer.

Daughter: Dad I have some news for you Dad: What is it? Daughter: I am pregnant Dad: ... I am so happy I am going to have a grandson, my 27 year old daughter just married and now pregnant, this is a great day!

You just threw a fireman and a baby out of a skyscraper... who arrived earth first? Adam and Eve. Moral: Because theology is bullshit.

Q: What did the black man say to the sheriff? A: Good day, officer

a black guy and a mexican are in a car, who's driving? a taxi driver.

a man walks into a bar... his drinking problem is seriously affecting his family

Knock knock. Who's there? John. John who? John, your son. Now open the door.

What happened when a Black man ran into a white supremacist? They exchanged insurance information

Jesus wept.

A heavily drunk man walks into a bar and proceeds to die of alcohol poisoning.

A bear walks into a bar. Four people were taken to the hospital and there was one fatality.

When life gives you lemons,you say thank you.

What did the Doctor say to the patient. You have AIDS The patient took out a machete and stabbed the Doctor. The Doctor died. Two weeks later, the patient died of AIDS.

What do you call dinosaur flatulence? Jurassic Fart!

Did you know Helen Keller had a swing set in her backyard? Neither did she.

Where did Jonathon go after he died? - Burger King, he died from diabetes

What is worse than getting stung by 1,000 bees? Getting stung by 1,001 bees.

roses are red, violets are blue, i have alzheimers, cheese on toast.

What did Jennifer get in her college exam? She got a C minus

How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1, and they don't have to be blonde, anyone can screw in a light bulb.

the meaning of life is too burn calories so I burnt a fat kid?

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was hit by a large refrigerator Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? The two of them were stapled together Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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