Why did the lizard cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

Knock, Knock. Who's there? Nobody likes you.

What did a man say to the woman with two black eyes? nothing he ain't already told her twice....

A bar walking into a mans house, then the blonde says stupid words like why did the chicken of the sea cross the road and pigeons go moo moo like a cow.

a man walks into a bar. Bartender asks him "Hey buddy, why the long face?" The man says "Because I'm a raging alcoholic and my wife has left me."

How many dead babies can you fit in a trunk? 37.

A child walks into a classroom.

What happened to the woman who walked down a dark alley way? She found a lolly.

Why does it get hot after a basketball game? Because of the crowd all breathing out carbon dioxide and the high level of activity generating excess body heat.

What's awesome about going to a no-pants party? Getting stabbed 2 times.

There's a 4 door kayak going down the street and it loses a wing. How many doughnuts fit in a dog house? And remember its not yellow, because snakes don't have armpits.

Two muffins are in an oven. Muffin 1: Gosh it's hot in here. Muffin 2: Holy Crap! A talking muffin!

whats worse than being mentally challenged? losing your arms and legs and finding out that you have cancer

Q:What did the homeless guy say to the business man on the cell phone A: Nothing because he doesn't want to disturb his phone call

You want to hear a joke? Democract

WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey!!!" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

Imagine yourself in a box with no windows and no doors. How do you get out? Stop imagining.

i am a dwarf i have a big nose im a ranga nice to meet you julia

I am just trying to grasp the terms you use Nero, you are a genius, I mean I always heard about it, but honestly, well, my first impression of you here was... Different.

Did you hear about the sale on the toyota cars from japan? if you can get it out of the water its free!

Whats bad about a black cop coming to your house? I was having a KKK meeting in the basement.

Knock knock. Who's there? Alzheimer. Alzheimer who? Knock knock.

How did the guy with aids die? He died of aids

What is worse than menopause? Falling down the stairs breaking your next....

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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