A man has 72 cookies, he eats 64 of them. What does he have left? Diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Rose's Are Red Violet's are Blue You Should Be In A Zoo Dont Worry Ill Be There Too But I Wont Be In A Cage With You Ill Be Laughing At You.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the guy with alzheimer's say to his wife? He can't remember.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Three girls are eating icecream one girl sucks on her icecream the second girl licks on her icecream and the third girl bites on her icecream. Q: Which of the three girls is married? A: The girl with the wedding ring.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's worse than the Holocaust? This joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A muslim, a priest, and a raabi walk into a bar. All three of them agree that it hurt.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A man named Joe has practiced drawing cartoon characters his entire life. When Joe turns 15 he decides to enter a local drawing competeiton. Joe works very hard drawing his cartoon and finally finishes. When it is the time to hand in his drawing his drawing, he hands it in an receives a satisfying 2nd place and continues on with his life. Two years later Joe decides to enter another drawing competeiton (this one much more competitive) after his drawing skills have tremendously increased. He begins drawing and is 3/4 of the way finished when Joe is brutally murdered by a mentally disturbed man and cannot hand in his art work and is therefore disqualified from the competeiton and loses.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the duck cross the road? Because it was going to the destination he wanted to go to.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why didn't the lobster share his treasure? Because he did not possess the cranial capacity to understand the concept of ownership; thus, he did not consider the treasure his

thumb_up thumb_down +101

Two homeless men are baking in an oven. They scream loudly until they both die.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

whats the one about not giving a crap? oh yea this one

thumb_up thumb_down +22

If life throws you melons, maybe you are hitting the melons.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What is the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't make for a very good accountant.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Yo Mama is so stupid, she was riding her bike down the street when she was distracted and rode off a cliff. Oh crap I am so sorry.

thumb_up thumb_down +55

Whats very large and produces alot of seamen. The US navy

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Roses are red Violets are blue Ebola is present And so are u

thumb_up thumb_down -18

whats made of wood and floats? everything made of wood floats

thumb_up thumb_down -73

Why did the beautiful woman marry the ugly poor old man? She was blonde & was therefor not aware that he wasn't rich nor younge.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Q: why is there always a window in front of the kitchen sink A: so when the woman is washing the dishes she can see the grass she is about to cut

thumb_up thumb_down -31

How do you drop a raw egg on to the floor without cracking it? Any way you want, it is very hard to crack concrete.

thumb_up thumb_down -53

What's worse than dropping you're ice cream? Getting your face mauled off by a German Shepard.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What do you call a fly without wings? A walk.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Two monkeys are lying in a tree. Big monkey and little monkey, little monkey bites the big monkey's tale, big monkey starts jumping around the place shouting. Little monkey just starts laughing and takes another sip of whiskey.

thumb_up thumb_down

What's round, has two hands, and tells time? Some fat guy I know, with a watch.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops