Why did the vulture cross the road? To get to the pile of dead babies left over from the Holocaust.

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What is worse than a baby nailed to a tree? The holocaust. What is worse than 20 babies nailed to a tree? A baby nailed to 20 trees.

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Mine.

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree there was no monkey

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What was wrong with the black guy? He was black

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Roses are red Violets are red Grass is red Oh no! Someone's been murdered in my garden!

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Hey Jim? What? Pass the stapler.

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Once a upon of time, there was a very big kangaroo named Jake. Well one day Jake was eating some food when suddenly a bunch of humans came and saw him. One human name Willie went over to take some pictures of the animal. The Jake ran away.

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A man walked into a bar. He got drunk and left.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Most poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

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Knock Knock Who's there? re-posession officers

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Knock Knock! Who is there? I am the milkman and I have your milk.

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One night a kid heard thunder and got scared. So he went to his parents bed and asked he could sleep with them. His mom said " Sure just don't look under the covers." He said okay and he looked under the covers and said " Daddy, why is your snake in Mommy's garden?"

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Fine, you got me there, I have already made sure that you get your compensation, it is the least thing I can do you let me know if anyone claiming to be part of my order bothers you again, I promise I will personally enforce strict guidelines in order to ensure that such a thing never happens again. I hope you will trust me, I will no longer call it the Order of Nero, but as you know we cannot reveal the true name of our order. I also agree to meet you in person so we can further discuss this impeding situation which I will give top priority. Truth is Nero, that I used to be one of your co workers in the underground, and my attempts at saving what is left might not be as ideal as the goals we are set to achieve are, we simply cannot expect that people excel at greatness at the first go. Of course this grave incident is not even near a "mere lack of greatness" but rather a group of people that yes, sadly have rightfully claimed to be members of our society, yet I need you to come to terms that this was a huge oversight in my vision for a new and "improved" underground society, and not a intentional attack at you and your personal security. I submit to your demands, and I ask that you partake in a small number of meetings where we can all discuss and further develop the necessary guidelines required to further solidify our foundation.

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Banana

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I like to eat.

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You know what's funny about table salt? Not much.

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Every 60 seconds In Africa......... A minute passes.

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I heard you let the cat out of the bag. It died.

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A seal walks into a club.

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whats young and never moved? still born baby

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What do super heroes say after they beat the villain? Nothing, super heroes are not real.

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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots? It depends on what his name is.

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You know what makes me sick? Bacteria

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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