What goes in long and hard and comes out soft and sticky? Chewing Gum

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LO LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOPLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOO O O O O O O OLO LOL OL O LO LO LO L OL -LOL GUY

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Why did the red head never have a boyfriend? She was a lesbian and had always preferred women over men

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A hero is nice to everyone, but one person. who is that? Your mom. WOOOOOOOT!! YOU JUST GOT MUSCLEMANED!!!!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have AIDS, now so do you.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer was arrested by the ASPCA and PETA for letting the chicken run free near a horribly busy road

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A child is in the grocery checkout with their parents. It sees the candy display and asks for a pack of Reese's. When the parents do not grant the child's request, they begin to scream and cry. When they arrive home, the child is beaten with a copper rod. The new puppy that the child got for a birthday present is hanged and fed to buzzards.

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why did the blonde get caught shop lifting? she wasnt a very good theif

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(approach girl) How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to fit into the same dress as you

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what's red and smells like water? Red food-coloured water.

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What do you call a black man eating dessert? A man of African ancestry enjoying a sweet treat.

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Why are black people so good at basketball? Dedication and hard work

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What did the paraplegic boy get for christmas? Nothing. He's Jewish.

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How do you get a clown to stop smiling? Hit him with an ax

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What do you call a black man forcing two young girls into his car with a gun? A Police Officer.

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a pub. They order drinks, then leave without speaking to each other. It was pure coincidence they walked into the bar at the same time. They had no connections to each other, them being from three different countries.

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how do u unload the dishwasher? u take the dishes out!

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Three jews walk into a bar. The bar is hosting a bar mitzvah.

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Why don't rhetorical questions need answers? Because that is what makes them rhetorical.

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Hey, is that your corvette. No I thought it was yours.

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What's better than having sex ? Having sex and being rich.

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There are two types of people in this world, those that can't count

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Q: What's so funny about medical records? A: You're not the one dying.

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Why did the pot-head have red eyes? He got soap in them.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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