What's funny about 9/11. Nothing.

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How do you make a sandwich out of clay? Shape it like a sandwich

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yo moma is so poor she cant afford free samples

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what does wtf stand for? what? i was asking you!

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A man walks into the doctors and he says to the doctor 'my leg hurts when I poke it like this'. The doctor replies 'don't poke it like that then'.

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Why did the little girl jump off a cliff? because she was at a cliff jump at a water park

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What do you get when you cross a horse and a pony? A mule

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Roses are Red. Violets are Blue. But Roses can also be White. And Violets should be Purple

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Lard and Liz lard,lard and Liz

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I'm not one to tell gay jokes So I won't

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Q. What's the difference between a bench and a Mexican? A. A bench is an inanimate object used for sitting on while a Mexican is a human being.

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How do you milk a cow? Pull on its' utters.

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what is the tastiest veggie? veggies aren't tasty.

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Nero, its not that, people are leaving left and right, you where right when you told me that I was holding into the remains of a rotting corpse, the underground society is dead and money alone will never bring it back, but I got the funds and you the talent, is there nothing that can be achieved? You are a lawyer, you write novels, you live a family life, you work for who the hell knows what organization, is this what you traded your, or if I may say, our legacy for? I dont suspect you Nero, I am disappointed in you, part of me wishes you where a backstabber, rather than the one that just quit.

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What did the black man say to the Jewish man Nothing, because they were walking on the street and did not know each other

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Q. What do you get when you mix eggs, mashed potatoes and salt? A. A pretty good batter for mashed potato pancakes.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Children Protective Services. Your kids are dead.

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What do you get when you put a woman in a room with 4 guys? She gets Gang Banged.

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Why'd the bird in Ohio fall out of its nest? There was a squirrel that was eaten by a large eagle. The eagle then flew to Ohio and died. Then, a large dog grabbed the Eagles corpse and brought it to his owner. The owner then decided to have it for dinner. Inside the eagle, he found the squirrels bones. He put the bones in a catapult, and sent them flying. The bones hit a car and the car slipped off the road and into a river. Then, a whale put the car on its back and swam to the shore. At the shore, the whale got stranded and sadly died. Crabs surrounded the whale and ate it. One crab then ran away and up a tree. It found a stapler and a rubber dinosaur mask and gave it to a chipmunk. The chipmunk climbed up the tree, stapled nuts into the birds eyes and stapled the rubber dinosaur mask to its face, the bird got scared, and then all of the sudden the chipmunk stapled itself to the birds back. The birds family then came and shoved the two out of the tree because they hated chipmunks, and their son Timmy the bird was a disappointment. The bird and the chipmunk fell and died. That is why the bird fell.

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Q: Why do Asian children tend to be smarter than other children A: They have longer school years

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How do you kill a domb blond? Shoot her in the head.

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Moose A: What do you call a moose with diapers on its head? Moose B: Me.

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A man walks into a bar. End of story.

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Why is josh such a retard Because when he was born a brick fell on his head.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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