What did the black man say to the Jewish man Nothing, because they were walking on the street and did not know each other

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Q. What do you get when you mix eggs, mashed potatoes and salt? A. A pretty good batter for mashed potato pancakes.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Children Protective Services. Your kids are dead.

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What do you get when you put a woman in a room with 4 guys? She gets Gang Banged.

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Why'd the bird in Ohio fall out of its nest? There was a squirrel that was eaten by a large eagle. The eagle then flew to Ohio and died. Then, a large dog grabbed the Eagles corpse and brought it to his owner. The owner then decided to have it for dinner. Inside the eagle, he found the squirrels bones. He put the bones in a catapult, and sent them flying. The bones hit a car and the car slipped off the road and into a river. Then, a whale put the car on its back and swam to the shore. At the shore, the whale got stranded and sadly died. Crabs surrounded the whale and ate it. One crab then ran away and up a tree. It found a stapler and a rubber dinosaur mask and gave it to a chipmunk. The chipmunk climbed up the tree, stapled nuts into the birds eyes and stapled the rubber dinosaur mask to its face, the bird got scared, and then all of the sudden the chipmunk stapled itself to the birds back. The birds family then came and shoved the two out of the tree because they hated chipmunks, and their son Timmy the bird was a disappointment. The bird and the chipmunk fell and died. That is why the bird fell.

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Q: Why do Asian children tend to be smarter than other children A: They have longer school years

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How do you kill a domb blond? Shoot her in the head.

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Moose A: What do you call a moose with diapers on its head? Moose B: Me.

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A man walks into a bar. End of story.

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Why is josh such a retard Because when he was born a brick fell on his head.

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Gladly, you sound very confident, makes me happy. Well, doctors thought I had ADHD (go figure) but I am pretty calm outside the internet, then they went with ADD, but since my attention is twofold, this meaning that I can get a lecture, while noticing a toothpick falling on the other side of the room (noticing as in perceiving with focus not necessarily listening but you know, seeing from the corner of ones eye) Yet still focus well enough to get the lecture in details. So its not split focus such as in ADD, but dual, as in me being able to think about two things at once, but also burning out extremely fast, which again, is far from ADD.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 brutally raped and murdered 8,9,10, and 11 along with their families.

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What did the grape say when the elephant sat on it? Nothing, scientific research has shown over thousands of years that grapes cannot talk.

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I didn't choose the thug life... I got a job.

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What's the difference between Jordan and Time? Time passes!!

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He wanted to catch the frisbee that was thrown to him.

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Okay.. So a dyslectic man walks into a bra...

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What's brown and sticky? Shit.

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They have trouble understanding each other.

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The grandfather's grandson said, "They charged me $10 just for a cup of coffee!" The grandfather said, "They charged me with bayonets."

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Why did man push another man off of a building? Because he is a homocidal maniac and should be in federal prison

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How do dinosaurs pay their bills? They don’t, dinosaurs don’t have a capital system.

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Why did the 100 year old man die? He was really old and his heart stopped beating after his BLT.

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Trouble with the trolley, eh? No

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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