What do you call someone who puts one number on here as a joke? Someone with no life.

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Why did the boy collect poop? Because it was it was his dogs shit.

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Why did Gina laugh? Because something was funny.

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Sharing means caring, Caring is socialism

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Dan O'Driscoll

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My heart is in my hands. Or maybe it's yours. Either way it's mine now. You won't need it anymore.

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A chicken , a dog and a horse walked into a bar. There were going to the vets but were confused.

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what has 4 legs three eyes and a horn? a:yo mama

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Why did hale say I have but one life to give for my country? He has one life

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Why did Princess Diana die? Because she deserved it!

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how hard you throw them.

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Why did the boy lose the race? Because he is morbidly obese.

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Two men stay at the bar all night drinking non stop. They soon are rushed to the hospital to get their stomachs pumped.

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the NAACP

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What's a ghost's favorite color? Usually whatever their favorite color was in life.

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Why did the constipated man go to the bathroom? To intentionally throw up; he has an eating disorder.

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Friends are like bananas. If you peel their skin and eat them they die.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Beat her with a spatula while in a mankini with a dildo up your ass!

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why was the woman in the kitchen? because societal standards placed her in such a situation

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What did the Catholic Priest say to Chris Hanson? Nothing. He attempted to flea, and was quickly taken down by law enforcement. He was then detained and processed and charged with Intent to commit statutory rape with a minor under the age of 14. He's still awaiting trial.

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Its over 9000 penises and they're all raping little children!!!!!

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Why are watermelons green? 9, because cows like to eat grass.

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How many Jews does it take to screw in a light bulb? 6 million, 1 to screw it in, and 5,999,999 to die in the holocaust.

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There is a young boy called Clive, and his dad asks him what he wants for his birthday: "I would like one yellow golf ball please dad" he said. Of course, his father was quite surprised by his son's request, but nevertheless, he got him a yellow golf ball for his birthday. A few years later, clive does amazingly well at school and gets all As in his final exams. Filled with pride and love for his son, his father says to him: "I can't begin to tell you how proud i am of you, Clive. In fact, you can have a preasant! What do you want?" Clive thinks for a moment. "i would like one hundred yellow golf balls please!" His father was a bit annoyed at his strange request, but neverrtheless, gave Clive his yellow golf balls. A few years later, Clive wins the gold medal at the olymics for the 100m sprint. His father is very proud: "Son, i am so happy about the way you've turned out. You make me so proud. Is there anything you want me to do for you?" "can i have 1000 yellow golf balls please" Now his father got annoyed, he thought Clive was taking the piss. Eventually though, he calmed down and got clove the golf balls. Unfortunatley, Clive gets diagnosed with a deadly disease. His father is heartbroken. And as clive is lying on the hospital bed, his father moves close and speaks to him. "Son" he said, tears welling up in his eyes, "I just want to ask you one thing." "Ok," Clive said, as he too started to get emotional. "Why on earth did you want all those golf balls?" Clive looked deep into his father's eyes, as he took his last breath said: "I wanted them because- ack -splutter- ack" And he died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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