Your mom is so poor that her boobs are real.

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Why did little Timmy fall down? Because he was shot in the head.

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Spot the mistake: a) x+2= 5 => x=3. b You.

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What do you call a quadriplegic man at a museum? "Sir," unless you happen to know his given name, in which case it would be most polite to call him that.

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Whats brown and a fag? A bundle of sticks

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Why does Santa live in the north pole? Because his spicy body fat keeps him warm.

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What is brown and has three legs? A horse. It lost a leg in a glue factory.

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Two men walk into a bar. They get drunk and leave. 2 hours later there's a newscast about two drunken men who died in a car accident. It wasn't them, the newscast about them came shortly after

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How does a black chick tell if she's pregnant? When she pulls the tampon out, all the cotton is already picked.

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A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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Who gives a shit? Justin Beiber.

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Where did the AIDS victim go on vacation? To the hospital.

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What did modern scientists say to Einstein? Neurtinos travel faster than the speed of light! :)

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What's 1+1? 69.

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What happens when you breed a T-rex and a mammoth? You can't, both animals are extinct.

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Q: What do you call a black person that flies planes? A: A pilot you racist

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what did steven hawking say to the prostitute? Nothing, he is unable to speak, he needs help from his word speaker thing.

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Why did Doctor Who visit Ancient Greece? Because has a time machine and has that ability

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Alpine Ibexes climb nearly 90 degree angles to lick salt deposits off mountain sides. They crave that mineral.

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Why did the downtown New York worker never make it home? An airplane crashed into his office.

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Why wasn't the door a door? It was a jar.

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what did the blind man get for christmas? Cancer.....

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Some poems rhyme. This one doesn't.

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What did the ocean say to the other ocean? - nothing oceans are inanimate objects that are incapable of talking.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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