Goats are like mushrooms. If you shoot a duck, I'm scared of toasters

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What’s brown and hairy? Brown hair.

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Q: Why can't Helen Keller drive? A:Because she is a woman A: She is blind deaf and dumb A: No seriously because she is dead.

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One day a man discovered he could suck his own penis. Unfortunately he was heterosexual and could derive no pleasure from doing so as he was acutely aware of the fact he had a penis in his mouth.

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Knock Knock I don't have a door. I'm Homeless

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http://www.google.com/webhp?doodle=6201726X-hA7spmZ-pmZnpnn__-ynJTMzfAAADUAAAcaZmb9sN8GZmGIzMz9UzM3OmZm2n7__6430pmZuSZmZm___y1yGQYhiElhkGQZBkGYZBiGQZBkGQZBkGQZBkGQZBkGITCGQZBkE4hkGQZRkGIUSGIYhkEEhkGUXiGIXkGIXkGIXkGQXiGQXkGQXiGIZhiGIRiGEZhmE5hhGUViGQYRklohkFohkFpBiFpBkFpBkGQYhmEEhmGQYhJIYhlFkhkGQZFg&hl=en&nord=1 For alien signals

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What is the difference between a dead baby and a bowling ball? You can't pick up a bowling ball with a pitchfork.

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Why couldn't Austin eat his noodles? He was a horse, and horses don't have hands, silly goose!

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Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob What What the hell are you doing here

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What Does the Duck Say? "Got any grapes?"

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what is the difference between a indian and a trampoline? you take you shoes off to jump on the trampoline.

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Why did the bus crash? The driver was a loaf of bread.

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what has four legs but cant move? dead dog

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Why did Little Timmy eat Smarties before school? Because he was hungry.

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Me: Sometimes I like to talk to myself. Me: So do I.

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How did little Sally break her Nintendo DS? Her abusive father repeatedly abused her and punished her until she was thrown into a stone wall. As she went into the wall she crushed by another wall and broke the DS.

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Q: Why did the singer stop singing? A: Someone threw a car at her face.

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What's worse than 1000 babies tied to a tree? 1 baby tied to 1000 trees.

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roses are red violets are blue show me your bed i wanna fuck you oh and roses are red violets are blue nice tits.

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what do you call a starfish living 500 miles under the sea? A starfish.

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Q: why did the plain crash A: because the driver was a loaf of bread

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Your brother is so ugly that sometimes he gets teased at schools and comes home crying.

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Amedeo Clemente Modigliani was an Italian artist who worked mainly in France. Primarily a figurative artist, he became known for paintings and sculptures in a modern style characterized by mask-like faces and elongation of form. He died in Paris of tubercular meningitis, exacerbated by poverty, overwork, and addiction to alcohol and narcotics.

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how did the little black boy cross the river? he walked over the bridge.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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