What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neil Armstrong was the first man to walk on the moon, and Michael Jackson was a child molester.

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What's the difference between Obama and a monkey? They are two different species, so thus they are very different.

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Child birth. So easy women can do it.

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the duck walked in the bar then he walded away

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Why was the middle-aged doctor morbidly obese? He liked bacon and was severely hypocritical.

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Knock Knock Go Away

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Why did suzy drop her popsicle? She was trampled by a homosexual moose.

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why did billy fall on the sidewalk? he got stabbed

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Coffee just isn't his cup of tea.

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How do you get a single-armed monkey down from a tree? Wave.

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There were three guy's caught trespassing on a farmers land. The farmer said he wont kill them if they did what they were told, he told everyone to pick one fruit. The 1st guy came to him with grapes. The farmer told him to shove it up his butt so he did, the 2nd guy came to the farmer with orange, the farmer told him to shove them up his butt but the guy kept laughing, the farmer got angry and snapped whats so funny? My buddy over over there is picking watermelons.

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What do you call a bright orange fish? A gold fish.

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Why don't rhetorical questions need answers? Because that is what makes them rhetorical.

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What happens when a man and a woman really love each other?... - They'll most likely go on a date and enjoy themselves.

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Yo mama's so fat that when she was diagnosed with a flesh eating disease she was given 10 years to live.

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Have you ever had Ugandan food? Neither have they.

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How do you kill a baby swinging on a rope attached to a pole at 40 miles an hour? Hit it with a shovel.

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A dad says to his son "you better stop masturbating or youll go blind'. And the son says "dad im over here".

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What did the teenage girl get for her birthday? Pregnant.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are rather unintelligent animals which evidently do not understand the dangers of crossing a busy road.

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How do you kill Chuck Norris? Shoot him in the face.

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why did the chicken cross the road? Because there were no traffic.

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roses are red, violets are blue, some poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

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Why are you going to thumbs this joke up? Because I use the words "Chuck Norris" Thus making it impossible to not thumbs up.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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