Your mom is so fat that she has diabetes and if she does not stick to her medical diet, her foot will be removed, but she started binge eating because of you in the first place, and if you don't straighten our your life, you will inadvertently be the cause of your mothers death.

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What do you say to a man who just gave you a million dollars. thank you

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Whats worse than a bullet in the head? i have no idea, i have never been shot in the head so i'm not sure what to compare it to.

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roses are red violets are blue i am muslim

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Why did America nuke Japan? Because Japan bombed Pearl Harbor.

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Q: what did Don Draper do after he saw an attractive woman at the ABC store? A: went home and thought about her while drinking his scotch.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the gay man's house. Knock knock... Who's there? The Chicken

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whats brown and sticky a stick

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A man walks into a bar and says "ow"; he stepped on a nail sticking up through one of the floorboards. He then sues the bartender for a large sum of money because of the injury he sustained, and causes the bartender to lose everything he owns in order to pay off his debt.

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What is the difference between a mustache, and a pile of dead babies? Mustaches disgust me.

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what did one tornado say to the other? im dizzy

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Why did the man go to jail? He abused and later murdered his spouse.

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why did the man choke at the lunch table. Police there is a banana attacking me what should I do?

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'l give you a nickle to tickle my pickle i'l give you a dime to take you time

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Q: Why did the baby stop crying? A: Because it was satisfied.

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If life gives you lemons, you are probably suffering from hallucinations.

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Why couldn't Timmy go to the bathroom? He was constipated.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm drunk, I want Taco Bell.

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Why? Why Not?

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What did Hitler say to the Jew? I don't know, I don't speak German.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was being shipped to KFC.

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What did the dog say to the cat before they fought? Lets fight

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"knock knock" "who's there" "I dont know, check the door"

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you know what they say, Big man, Big hypertrophic cardiomyopathy, shame he died

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops