Why didn't Katie cross the road? Because she's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How do you teach a blond how to cook? You give her a cookbook, a kitchen, and maybe turn Paula Dean's show on.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Q: Wanna hear a joke? A: Women's rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +163

Where did the duck hide its pail? UNDER THE STAIRS!!

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What did one door say to the other door? - Nothing, doors can't talk

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Hey I Just Met You , And This is Crazy But Don't Text. My Phone Cuz You Stalk Me Daily #Taste_MyCarmel

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Knock Knock Who's there? The Police your parents just died in a car accident

thumb_up thumb_down -42

only one person get beat up chuck norris. Who you say? Bruce Lee. He got lucky because his eyes were closed.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

The other day a male African American approached me in a less than reputable neighborhood after dark and inquired as to whether or not I had a dollar which I could spare. I politely told him I didn't and apologized. He forgave me and we went our seperate ways.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A woman comes home and finds her husband with another woman. Their marriage collapses and the husband goes on to marry the other woman and his ex-wife commits suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A man died in a sky-diving accident. What was the last thing that went through his mind before he died? His feet

thumb_up thumb_down +12

There was a a round house with no corners.How many corners were there? 100 ,I never said that that it had to be that house.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's worse than pushing a baby off a cliff?........ Standing at the bottom with a pitchfork....!

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was holding hands with the first. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? It saw a banana. Why did the fourth monkey fall out of the tree? It slipped. Why did the fifth monkey fall out of the tree? It thought this was all a game. Why did the sixth monkey commit suicide? All his friends were gone.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Except for the cases when you die...then you are dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How did the fat guy survive the air crash? He didn't, he died like everyone else.

thumb_up thumb_down +2,051

What time is it when you run out of ice cream? Time to get more ice cream.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Cole is "good" at soccer

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Icecream

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's the difference between a Porsche and a pile of dead babies? When I see a Porsche on the street, I think to myself, "that's a nice car," but when I see a pile of dead babies on the street I scream, "OH DEAR GOD WHY?!?! WHY?!?! WHERE IS THE MONSTER THAT KILLED THESE POOR BABIES?!?!" I then quickly alert the authorities of the hideous crime before vomiting profusely and crying until my tear ducts run dry. I sustain irreversible psychological damage and the image of hundreds of cruelly murdered infants prevents me from sleeping at night.

thumb_up thumb_down +1,852

Have you ever noticed that when geese fly in a V, one side is long than the other? Do you know why that is? There are more geese on that side

thumb_up thumb_down +38

I told my friend the best anti joke I've ever heard in my life the other day. He didn't laugh. He is autistic and doesn't understand humor.

thumb_up thumb_down -351

I was in the middle of downloading a porno of two hot girls getting it on, my computer got a virus and crashed.

thumb_up thumb_down -55

Why can't woman be cokcy? Because that don't have one (Sorry for the sexist joke, to who it may concern)

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops