Q. What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A. "Where's my tractor?"

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you know what they say, Big man, Big hypertrophic cardiomyopathy, shame he died

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What's fatter than your mum? Your mum's mum

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Your mother's breasts sag with such severity that the late great surrealist artist Salvador Dali mistook them for clocks.

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What do you call a black man on a bicycle? A thief. What do u call a black man in school? Janitor. What do you call a black man in court? Guilty

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What do you call a Jew with 20 Pounds of Pennies? A rich man

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What is purple after you stroke it a lot? An eggplant

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What the did the man say to his boss? You are my boss.

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Your momma is so fat when she heard about the quater pounder she thought it was for a quarter.

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"knock knock" "who's there" "I dont know, check the door"

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Knock Knock Who's There Carly Carly Who Hey I just met you, and this is crazy So here's my number and call me maybe

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Q - what did one plate say to the other? A - FOods on me tonight!

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Why was the boy crying in public with no clothes on? Because he had no clothes on in public.

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? "I'm going to kill everyone you've ever loved you fucking cocksucker, you think you can get away with sleeping with my wife? You better think again kiddo I will take away everything from you until you are reduced to a smoldering ruin of what you once was, mark my words bitch."

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What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer? This would be unlikely to happen, as it would cut the story short.

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You know what happens when you assume. You jump to a conclusion that could conceivably have severe consequences.

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What's the difference between a Lamborghini and 10 dead babies? I don't keep a Lamborghini I'm my garage

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why did the chicken cross the road? cause it can bitch.

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Did you hear about the constipated mathematician who broke his calculator? He went to the shops and bought some laxatives and a new calculator.

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What do you call a prostitute with no arms and legs? Unfortunate, as they've probably have many misfortunes in life.

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Whats black and has a large penis? A dog with abnormal sized genitalia.

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Your mama's so skinny; she can fit into most swimsuits sizes 4-6 and has a rather petite bottom.

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What do you get if you pour water over a firework? A wet firework

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A man opens his sock drawer, grabs his socks and puts them on.........He dies 5 minutes later.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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