roses are red violets are blue get down your trousers cause im waiting for you

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What did the pet lion say to its owner? Nothing. The lion then proceeded to hunt down its owner, pin him down and rip out his insides. Besides, the likelyhood of owning a lion as a pet is very slim, and even if one did, this act would be highly illegal in most parts of the world.

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Ask me if I'm an orange. Are you an orange? No.

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Why is it irrelevant whether someone is a twat or not? Love your neighbour.

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What's red and black and looks good on a Jew? A bullet wound.

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What do you call a black thing hanging from a tree A tire swing

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Knock Knock Who's There? Bill Bill Who? Builder

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You having friends.

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what you get time to go with? - a clock

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what did th teacher say to the student? be quiet and do our work

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But one McDonalds Happy Meal for the price of two, and receive another McDonalds Happy meal absolutley free!

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What did the physicist say when he got his penis stuck in a test tube? Ah jeesh! I got my penis stuck in a test tube.

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Whats black and is on sale in shops? Blackberries.

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hey i just met you and this is crazy but so

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i like pie

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because the monkey was a dead. Don't you dare laugh. Asshole.

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What did the pregnant teenager get for her birthday? An abortion.

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Justin Bieber walks into a bar…. He was shot

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why did the child fail to make his bed? because he has downs syndrome and he is incapable of participating in everyday activities.

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Yes, I'll have the cordon bleu, see voo play.

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Life is like a box of chocolates. The worst ones remind you of how horrible your life is.

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Guess what I did to the clown I hit it with an axe

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How do you keep a blonde busy? The best way to keep somebody busy is to make sure they have something to do, like get a job or a hobby or do some chores. The color of their hair is irrelevant.

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Life is like a box of chocolates. Except it's not usually a rectangular or love heart shaped... nor does it contain small expensive assorted candy... life may not also contain nuts... or be devoured by our fellow human... Life is not like a box of chocolates

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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