Q. Why did the mother dissagree with her son's choice in friends? A. Because they were a rather bad influence on him and his grades had gotten considerably worse since they started to hang out.

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How do you kill a blue elephant? With a blue elephant gun. How do you kill a red elephant? Spray paint it blue then shoot it with a blue elephant gun

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Just checked my Tesco burgers in the fridge and they're still within the use by date.

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a duck walks onto a basketball court during a game. The referee sees the bird and blows his whistle crying fowl just as the player was running up to dunk. The confused bird flies away and the referee gets punched by the angry player.

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How do you get a blond out of tree? Shoot her in the head.

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Why did the little girl pull her hair out? She didn't, It's a side-effect of the chemotherapy.

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Nah really, I start giggling like a dork whenever weird porn or whatever shows up on my computer, its just too weird. Fine ill use my glasses then, thanks for the comment by the way, I was really regretful for sending you that pic, but then again I did not have contacts then, nor did I want to photoshop anything.

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What do you call a brunette between two blonds? Probably their friend. How should I know?

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What is a cow's favorite drink? Well, I could be wrong and this is just my opinion, but I do not believe that animals experience feelings and, in corollary, favoritism towards anything, particularly regarding basic survival needs, such as hydration.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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Two black men walk into a Ku Klux Klan meeting. they are immediately lynched by the mob who hates them

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What did the little girl with cancer get for Christmas? Nothing, she didn't make it that far

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Why did the man run away from the woman? He forgot his rape kit.

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Hey guess what? Nevermind.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Doctor Doctor who Doctor Octagonapus! BLAAAUUUUGGGHHHH

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The man goes to the doctor after just losing his job because his company went under because of the econmic crisis. His house is being foreclosed because without the money from his job he can't afford to pay for his house. His girlfriend also just left him because of recent conflicts about money and she was looking forward to having a family and with him jobless it was just out of the question. Man:"Doctor I could really use some good news" Doctor:"You have aids"

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why did the chicken cross the road? to vote off obama

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If I said "This AntiJoke will get thumbs up" It will get thumbs up

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Me Chinese Me no joke Me die of cancer.

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what did the chicken cross the road? because its a chicken

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Emergency call: - Please help, my little son swallowed a condom! 5 minutes later - It is ok, I found another one.

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What is the Question to Life, the Universe, and Everything? 43 - 1 = ?

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you know whats not funny? the Holocaust

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Why did the slut suck a dick? Because she's a slut.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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