What do you call a person trying to rob a store with no arms? Peter Pan

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A bear walks into a bar, and says "I'd like a gin... and tonic." The bartender says "AAAAHHH! A BEAR!!!" and calls animal control. Later after the beast has been tranquilized and carted away, he rationalizes having heard the bear speak as trauma-induced hallucination.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What do you call a blonde falling off a cliff? Screwed.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Roses are red Im adopted

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What is black, white and hungry? A woman with a rare skin disorder known as Vitiligo which causes discolourtion of the skins pigment in patches; who is hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What did my mom get for christmas? My dad, Dick in a box. My dad's name is Richard.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

A white guy, a black guy, and a chinese man all walk in to a magic shop, at different times in the day to buy different products.

thumb_up thumb_down +1,943

whats worse then being a jew now? being a jew in 1942

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Q. On a scale of 1-100, how immature are you? A. 69.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Q: How many banana peels does it take to run down the street, true or false? A: Telephone poles don't have doors.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

If a quiz is a quizical then what is a test? an Exam.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

What's the difference between a duck? One of it's feet are both yellow.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Q: Whats about two feet in width and length with purple veins throbbing at the sides? A: A midget slowly dying of frostbite

thumb_up thumb_down +16

what is funnier than 24.....?????? 69. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. IT IS FUNNY BECAUSE IT LOOKS LIKE ME AND YOUR MAMA

thumb_up thumb_down -16

sometimes i take my duck a shower, i always use cold water because if i use hot water it will think im cooking it.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

How do u make a black man cry? Kill his family!

thumb_up thumb_down

A Mime travels to Africa for a vacation. He meets a Zebra in his travels and the Zebra says "Hey we both are wearing black and white stripes!" The Mime did not understand the Zebra because he cannot talk his language so he continues on with his vacation.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why wasn't Johnny at school today? Because he died in childbirth.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the fan of Justin Beiber say? Nothing there are no fans.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did the blonde do when she missed bus 40? She waited 30 minutes for it to come back around again.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q:How do you turn off a Jewish Lamp? A: You press the Auschwitz.

thumb_up thumb_down +54

Have you heard the one about the monkey who jumped off the roof? Neither have I.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

roy g biv

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Why are you bored? because fungus grows in your eyeballs so you try to stab it out but you end up blind and dead lol

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops