Why did the chicken cross the road? Earlier that morning the farmers daughter had inadvertently left the gate to the yard open as she was preoccupied by her worry over a maths test set for that day. She hadn't studied for the test as she was still deeply distressed over her fathers recent heart attack. This, coupled with the added burden of household chores now delegated to her because her mother was out trying to get the west field prepared for sowing, had made her quite forgetful and distracted of late. Whilst several chickens escaped, only one strayed so far that it actually encountered the road facing the farm. After crossing the road and gorging itself in a soybean crop, the chicken was struck by a furniture removers van as it attempted to make its way home. Several hours later the dead chicken was spotted by a Community Mental Health Worker who was doing his bi-weekly rural clinic run. The chicken, being a bantam caught the eye of the Mental Health worker, who was a keen trout fisherman. "Cool" thought the mental health worker- "those feathers will make for excellent trout flies". He stopped and plucked a handful of the most iridescent blue, green and orange feathers and placed them in an envelope. He rolled himself a cigarette, sat on the trunk of his car and admired the clouds. "God, I love this job", he muttered to no one in particular.

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What did Timmy want for Christmas? Parents.

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Person 1: *sneeze Person 2: bless you Person 1: I'm jewish. They never spoke again.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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How do you know when a Frenchman has been near your house? You don't, really, unless you were there to see him or if one of your neighbours saw him. I wouldn't worry about it, really.

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what do you get if you take the head off a duck and a monkey, and swap them over to the other bodies. 2 dead animals and quite alot of mess

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Why doesn't the black man have a job? He's working on his masters degree.

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A. Did you hear about the circus fires? b. They were intense. (in tents)

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Why can't Jimmy walk ever again? Because when he was 12 his father mistook him for a plank of wood a sawed his legs off. We may realise here that this prohibits him from walking.

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knock knock whos there open the door and find out

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A seal walks into a club.

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What would happen if you put a marshmellow in a tractor Because 7, 8, 9

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Q: What do you call a successful black person? A: A fictional character.

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Q: What's the difference between a mountain goat and a pitching wedge? A: A lot.

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A guy walks into a bar. He then comes home at 4 a.m. to beat his wife.

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What do you call a puppy with no eyes? Ugly.

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Why do girls like Justin beiber Because he can sing good

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what's red and smells like blue paint? im color blind

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why did the baby die? It was born with cancer

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whats 2+2? 1

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the gay man's house. Knock knock... Who's there? The Chicken

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A bear woke up from his annual hibernation to find that his stomach is growling. "I sure am hungry." the sleepy bear said. So he found some berries, but spit them out. "These berries are far too bitter." the playful bear said. He then found some honey, however was soon bombarded with a swarm of bees. "That honey is good, but not that good." the jolly bear said. He then stumbled upon a cabin. "I wonder if there is any food in here..." the curteous bear wondered. The events that followed are now reffered to by the locals as the May 20th Massacre. While no witnesses survived, the police reports depict that the Martinez family, a young family of 7 enjoying their memorial day weekend in their New Hampshire cabin, was brutally slain by a blood-thirsty animal who tracked each of them throughout the house in a period of approximately 45 minutes.

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What do you get six year old Hitler for his birthday? An Easy Bake Oven

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops