What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? Chuck Noris

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Why did the baby stop crying? Because he stopped breathing.

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Why did the bus driver lose his family in a car accident? Bc the little boy was seeking revenge

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Why couldn't the man read? Because he was illiterate

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. Your family is dead.

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What's the difference between a rabbit and a plum? They're both purple, except for the rabbit.

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How many Poles does it take to change a lightbulb? Just the one, usually.

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Q:A man has 100 chocolate bars he eats 93 of them. What has he got now? A:Diabetes

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Why doesn't Michael Jackson play with Macaulay Culkin? Because he's dead.

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What did the girl tell her abusive boyfriend Girl: You broke my heart! Boyfriend: I'm gonna break your face.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To try and beat the oncoming car.

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You know why Michael J. Fox makes really good milkshakes? ... because he uses the best ingredients.

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What's big and gray and can't climb a tree? A parking lot.

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What did one orphan say to the other? My parents are dead.

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Why did the fireman wear red suspenders? To honor his father, Jonathan "Red" Hoffner, who was tragically killed in the line of duty. While attempting to save 3 small children in a trailer park fire, the elder firefighter suffered 3rd degree burns over 80 percent of his body. "Red" was rushed to a local hospital and lingered for several agonizing days. He began to rally but a careless error by a night nurse led to his unfortunate demise. His son was psychologically unable to wear anything but red suspenders every day for the rest of his life - not only because of his father's death but also because it was he who had maliciously set the fire in the first place.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Sunflowers are yellow And daisies can be a wide variety of colours.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Most poems rhyme, But this one doesn't

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Hitler wasn't that bad... He DID kill Hitler.

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there's a irishman, australian and and englishman man on a plane. they are going to france

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-You know what will always get people fighting? -Hey, you wanna fight?

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What did the little girl who lost her baby teeth want for Christmas? A pony.

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what did the cab driver say to the black man when he got into his cab? Where to, sir?

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How did the dyslexic, purple horse commit suicide? It jumped off the Grand Canyon.

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How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way. ernkso

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops