An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman all walked into a bar. But, the bartender was not happy, as he had noticed that each of them were wearing tops with rude slogans on them. The Bartender said to the Englishman, "you do know that your t-shirt isn't suitable for the children in here, don't you?" "Oh," said the Englishman, "I'm sorry, I'll go home to change it at once." Next, came the Irishman, who's top was slightly worse than the Englishman's. The bartender said to the Irishman, "you do know that the joke on your jumper is sexist, don't you?" "Oh," said the Irishman, "I'm sorry, I'll go home and change it at once." Last, was the Scotsman. The Scotsman's top was particularly bad, and the bartender especially did not want this top to be seen in his bar. So, the bartender said to the Scotsman, "you do know that the slogan on your cardigan is racist, don't you?" "Oh," said the scotsman, "I'll go home and change it at once."

thumb_up thumb_down -21

I used to not like my beard, but then it grew on me.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

Have you heard about the hipster paleontologist? He liked dinosaurs better when they were underground.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why was Sally crying She got a high five In the face With a chair

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Why did the boy not wake up on time for school? He was fuck in dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

If a large bear falls out of a tree, why would a giraffe also eat the cheese?

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How do you describe a cranky rapist? Cranky and rapist

thumb_up thumb_down -11

*Knock Knock* "whose there?"... "me"

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What do you get when you have 10 kids in a church? A lot of rape cases.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What did the boy do before school? Jacked off.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

why are black people good at basketball cuz their tall

thumb_up thumb_down +12

He was. I am sorry, he knows to much, this is for the well being of everyone, including yourself, he will be going down, the order has been given.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A police officer walks into a bar. He uses the ATM and withdraws 20 dollars. After greeting the bartender he leaves the establishment and proceeds to go on duty. The cop was really friendly.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the kid take the trash out to the movies? Because his mum said take out the trash

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

thumb_up thumb_down +89

Tim's gay.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

So you are a giggler huh? You ticklish too? Anyway, you ever watched Deathnote? I was gonna ask something kinda important but it disappeared, so you tell me stuff first. Oh, my parents? Well, they where nice and sweet, but lets talk about something cruel and horrible. (If you switch up nice and sweet with cruel and horrible and the opposite, you will get the picture I am trying to pain here) What makes me so much more interesting huh? And why are you afraid you may look like an Alien? HEEEEEY! I am a legal citizen and I am not freaking Mexican!

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Where did Sally go in the bombing? Everywhere

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I chucked a shit and flushed the toilet.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did the little kid color outside the lines? He had Parkinson's Disease.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Your mom is so fat she decided to get out of bed and exercise because she realized her health would become serious and wanted ot do something about it.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

GO CHARLIE TO CANDY MOUNTAIN. Charlie is a unicorn and unicorns are not real they are mythological creatures. They do not breath becuase they where never alive unless you do drugs(mr craig) that is the only way to see them. And drugs leed to lose of money, loss of money = broke.Broke = no home. No home= death. So who believes in unicorns??

thumb_up thumb_down -15

flip flop chop, clip clop cow, POW. hahahahahah. :).

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Anti Jokes = Drained

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops