What do you call a guy with no arms? Names.

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A cat walks by a chineese buffet, the owner kindly puts food and water outside the door so it doesnt die

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Whats worse than spilling the milk? Getting raped by the easter bunny.

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A momma cow was grazing in the meadow with her three calves when the first one asked, "Mom, how did I get the name Rose? "Well when you were born, a rose pedal came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The second calf asked, "How did I get the name Daisy?" "Well when you were born, a daisy came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The third calf mumbled, "LKJLSKJFSLKJLKSJDF" incoherently, and the Mom responded, "Shut up, Cinderblock."

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why did the homosexual man cross the road? to get to his gay partner.

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Q: What do you call a black man in space? A: An astronaut. -Ap

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Q: what did Timmy get for his 8th birthday A: killed MR

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The Holocaust.

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Why did the police officer shoot the man in the wheelchair? Says the police: "He was running"

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What did the man say to the cat. ~It doesn't matter it impossible for 2 Species to Communicate between one another.

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Person 1: "Broo my dicks like 19 inches!" Person 2: "Thas not healthy, an erection that big will deprive your brain of too much blood and kill you."

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What did the one stethoscope say to the other stethoscope? Nothing. Stethoscopes can't talk.

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How does a black guy who murdered his wife get out of jail? He serves his sentence and is allowed to return back home.

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69!!! (its funny cause i made a referance to 69)

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Why can't vegetarians eat mushrooms because I can't urinate over a scotch bonnet :/

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y momma so fat that she's heavy

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if ruddel jumped on your back what do you do leave him on or pull him offf? shoot him.

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whats black, then white, then dead all over? Michael jackson

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"I can sell this watch for $500 dollars on the black market!" Well, you could sell your liver for $500 dollars on the black market too.

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A man walks into a bar and asks "Where is your bathroom?" He is directed towards the restroom, where he then covers himself in toilet paper and calls himself a moose.

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Your mama's so fat, that during her last physical checkup, her attending physician informed her that it would be in her best interest to lose some weight before any serious medical conditions arose that would adversely affect her health and well being in a chronic fashion.

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Q. What is the worlds biggest lie A. I have read and agree to the terms of service ?

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One time I was playing hide and seek with grandma but I couldn't seem to find her. I asked my sister for help and she told me she was hiding in the living room on the shelf. I went into the living room but all I saw was a vase on the shelf. Grandma probably didn't know the game was over so I opened the vase to tell her. To this day she hasn't come out of the vase.

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what is the difference between a jew and a boy scout? a boy scout comes home from camp

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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