Your mom as so fat that I'm gonna give you the name of this doctor because I really care for you...... And don't want to see you so stressed because she is so fat.

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Why do christians believe in God? Because believing in God is fundemental in their belief system; if they did not believe in God they simply wouldn't be christians. Muslims are in a similar predicament.

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A duck walks in wal-mart and buys stuff. The cashier ask how hes going to pay and the duck said just put it on my bill.

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What do you call an anorexic with a yeast infection? A girl who really needs to see the doctor.

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What do you call a redneck virgin? A seven year old who can run faster than her brothers.

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What's big, wet and yellowish-green at midnight? I don't know. That's why I'm asking.

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Why did the girl cross the road ? Because i was following her.

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Why didn't the octopus have any friends? Because they are antisocial creatures by nature.

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Q: Why did George Lopez walk into a Taco Bell? A: To purchase a 5-layer Gordita Burrito

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Why was Stephanie sad? She dropped a washing machine on her toe

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Jew logic fail: Jew: We have endured suffering for thousands of years! Guy: And how old are you again? Jew: eight. Moral: If you see a goddamn moral in this one then post it yourself :P

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how do you kill justin bieber? put a bag over his head and suffercate him.

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What animal is green and eats rocks? The green rockeater

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What did Marsha say when she ate the apple pie? "Damn, that's a good apple pie."

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What does an Eagle and a Mole have in common? They both live underground. Apart from the Eagle.

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A: Knock knock! B: Come in.

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Why was the black person promptly escorted out of the bar? He was under 21.

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Two guys walk into a bar to get out of the rain and have a drink after a long day of work. The first guy orders a bottle of imported beer sits down and begins to drink. After waiting his turn the second guy also orders a bottle of imported beer but because he is Polish he does it incorrectly and awkwardly

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got into the car? Robin, get in the car.

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Why did the waiter put rubber bands in the soup? Because he wasn't a very good waiter.

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25

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Three head lice are drinking beer on a scalp, then they are killed by a high strength medical shampoo.

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There was a blonde, brunette and a red head on an island. The blond was on holiday, the brunette lived there and the red head was there on business, it was a very large and industrial island.

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Q: Why was the gorrilla arrested? A: He broke a law.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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