a priest a rabbi and a minister all walk into a bar and the bartender says "is this a joke?"

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Knock knock Who's there? I'm the Dick I'm the dick who? I'm the Dick Cheney

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Whats funny about ISIS? Nothing, you asshole, its terrifying.

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Q: What did the boy with no arms or lags get for christmas? A: He dosent now he cant open them.

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Why wouldnt you want to hit a black man that is on a bike with your car? It mite be your bike

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why did the chicken cross the road. why? because he felt like it

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What do black men do in the South? Hang around

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Waiter! What's this fly doing in my soup? He's not doing anything, sir. He's dead.

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An old lady and her son walk into a hospital, only to find it covered in TRICERITOPS SHIT!!!!

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Why didn't the young child commiserate the death of his grandparents after they were simultaneously crippled by a tremendous avalanche whilst skiing? He didn't exist.

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What happened to the boy who crossed the road without looking both ways? He was abducted by aliens.

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What is the secret to winning football games? Score the most points.

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A man throws a penny off of a cliff. He is now one cent poorer

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i have two hands.

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How did Bob fall off the swing? He had no arms. Why couldn't he get up? He had no arms. What did Bob get for Christmas? Cancer.

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What have in common a recently born baby and a quadriplegic blonde person? Both have legs but they cant walk

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How many dyslexics does it take to screw in a light bulb? Dyslexia is a cognitive learning disability characterized by the sufferer's inability to fluently spell, speak and read. Being a intellectual disability, the chances that dyslexia could impair the practical functionality of a sufferer are very slim and hence it it is highly probable that it would only take one dyslexic to change a light bulb in the simplest of conditions. However, to definitively answer this question, I would have to know a range of variables such as the height above the ground at which the light socket is mounted, the physical height of the dyslexic, the voltage and amp characteristics of the light-bulb itself, the physical well-being of the dyslexic etc. These variables are unknown, are not mentioned in the initial question (as is common for this type of question) and hence, I cannot answer this question to any degree of accuracy.

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What's the difference between a red shirt and a blue shirt? one is red and one is blue

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why did the cow say baaaaa ? it was a stupid cow

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His name is Frosted Mike, and he neither has nor does not have a penis.

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There are 2 cannibals eating a guy well one starts at the head and the other one starts at the feet the one at the head says to the other on how you doing down there and he said ohhh having a ball you!!!!

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Your mother is so fat she sometimes eats a normal sized portion of food and does not feel satisfied

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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Q: What's a crutch's favorite song? A: Lean on me

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops