How do you confuse a blond? Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.

thumb_up thumb_down +14,699

Need homeless tips? Get A Job.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why did the chicken cross the road? Due the limited cognitive ability and a lack of critical thinking skills, the chicken mistakenly ventured across the road in search of grain. Luckily the chicken was not injured on this occasion, however other chickens may not be so lucky in the future.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

I saw a bull go into a public toilet and defacitate! Bullshit!!!!!! hahahahahahahaha!

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Q) What did one chicken say to the other? A) Nothing. Chickens can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A duck walks into a bar. The bartender asks the duck "What'll it be?" The duck doesn't respond because it's a duck and it can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you call a dead black guy? A TERRIBLE CRIME

thumb_up thumb_down +11

MILLERS FUNNY LIKE A JEW

thumb_up thumb_down -4

There was a horse in a very hot sumer day. He was in the middle of corn field It was so hot that the corns started popping out. The horse thought it was snowing and died of cold.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Daffodils are yellow, Flowers come in lots of colours...

thumb_up thumb_down -16

I'm a white rapper I do it all the time Folks don't like me cuz my words don't match

thumb_up thumb_down +20

If you shaved Chuck Norris' beard, you'd find a chin.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

whats big, black and red all over? My mom when its that time of the month

thumb_up thumb_down -14

.......ah shit i forgotten the joke

thumb_up thumb_down +9

How do you make spongebob come to Life? You kiss him????????

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A blonde, brunette, and redhead find a cliff that is supposed to turn you into something which you exclaim upon leaping from the cliff. The brunette jumps off and exclaims: BIRD! She thus falls to her death on a ton of pointy rocks. The other two loot her corpse and walk away.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

one morning i turned on my tv

thumb_up thumb_down -28

How do you wake up your friend in a reasonable manor? you beat the shit out of him

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What did the DVD player say when a video tape was put in? You incompatible.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Wood is brown...... Grass is green...... Now what color are roses?

thumb_up thumb_down -30

A woman is getting in the shower but the the doorbell rings so she puts on her towel and gets the door a man is there asking for sugar. Then she gets back into the shower then the doorbell rang again so she puts on her towel and anwsers the door another man is there he asked for some batteries she gave him some and went back to the shower. Then she hears the doorbell again she thought since there wasn't anybody else that lived on her street she decided to just go to the door without her towel so she answers the door thinking the blindmans there and it was the police man.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What's the difference between marmalade and jam?... you can't marmalade your dick down a girls throat.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

dont you hate it when your reading something and it doesnt end the way you cactus

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How many TV shows are there? A lot.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops