how many jews does it take for me to be able to have sex with my cousin's girlfriend? idk, but that's how many I need. actually let me have some extras. couldn't hurt.

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A janitor walks into a bar. He cleans the bar.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue If you think this is gonna rhyme, You're dead wrong.

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Holy mother moley! Britain just brexited! Now there's no more Britain. Britain is all gone.

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What did the boy say to his dad when he realized he was gay? Dad, I'm gay.

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What caused the man to become blind? He took an arrow to the knee.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a dog in your apple

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side! :)

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What's gay and Jewish? Henry Shine

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What do you call a black man with a club? Tiger woods.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was attempting to get back to his farm.

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What do you call a blind guy in a library? Kevin. Unless his name isn't Kevin.

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What did the German say to the Rabbi? Hello. The German was also Jewish

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Who looks like a bird and can fly to hogwarts? Dean McKee. his scar is f u c k i n g rotten

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Q. If Kim Kardashian and Kanye West were both drowning, what kind would you make? A. PBJ

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Did you hear that the actress, Reese what's-her-name, got stabbed to death? Witherspoon? No, with a knife.

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In Soviet Russia, Stalin kills you

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y does byonce sing to the left? because black people have no rights

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have Tourette's, Cheese on toast.

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One day, an Irishman, a Jew and an American were walking home from a long game of golf. "God, that was a long game" said the American, to which the Irishman replied "aye, that it was." The Irishman then turned to the Jew, and asked him how he managed to get two birdies in succession. The Jew, after a moment of deliberation, began to explain. "Well, it all began when I was six. See, there was a mountain right next to Casparia, the village I lived for most of my life back in Wales. Every day, I'd come back from school, and ask my dad why nobody ever attempted to scale the mountain. 'To do so would be an unnecessary risk, son, and people are too busy working to put food and water on the tables for their families to undertake something so foolish.' One night, when insomnia was getting the better of me, I decided to get a better look at the mountain, so I strapped on my boots, my fur coat and some woolly mittens and left for the mountain. After a few hours of walking, I approached the closest hill which gave me a perfect view of the mountain's first peak, and there I spotted a polar bear, mauling a hiker to death." The Jew paused to check the Irishman and the American were following, when the American spoke up; "hold on there, there aren't any polar bears in Casparia!" The Irishman also spoke up; "there isn't even a village called Casparia, well, anywhere!" The Jew smiled slightly, and a few seconds later the smile broke out into a gigantic grin, and he finally replied: "exactly".

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If you're American when you go into the bathroom and you're American when you come out of the bathroom, what are you when you're in the bathroom? Magic.

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What do you call Jack Black on a bad day? Kevin Hart.

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What's the biggest Jenga game? 9/11

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your mother is in alkatraz as she was sentenced to 25 to life due to false accusations

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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