How do you get rich? Cut chunks off a fat person with a cleaver and sell them to china.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

what do u call a 7th grade ninga joe waldeaker the sarah freek

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What did the blonde say to the chicken? mmm, delicious

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because goats lay eggs.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Mother Mary held her daughter 20 minutes under water. Not to save her from her troubles, just to see the funny bubbles

thumb_up thumb_down

what did the lonely boy get for christmas? the absence of a familly

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A priest, a Muslim and a Rabbi sit next to each other on a plane they say nothing to each other during the flight and reach their destinations safely.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

how do you beat the system? throw your xbox out a window.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere

thumb_up thumb_down +17

horses are burgers now ive got the flu watch out tescos because im gonna sue

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Knock knock? Who's there? Alzheimer's, Alzheimer's who? Knock knock? Who's there? Alzheimer's, Alzheimer's who? Knock knock? Who's there? Alzheimer's, Alzheimer's who? Knock knock? Who's there? Alzheimer's, Alzheimer's who?

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What's the difference between a baby and a pineapple? Pineapples were not shot by nazis during the holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down +63

How do you get the neighborhood hoodlums to stop pushing you over in your wheelchair? Brutally murder their families in front of them.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's blue and thrashes about on the floor? A baby playing in a plastic bag. How do you make a man pregnant? Stick a dead baby up his ass! How do you stop a baby falling down a manhole? Stick a javelin through it's head. How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how hard you throw them. -S

thumb_up thumb_down -17

How do you make a dick popsickle? ...IDK! I am asking you because you look gay.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What do you call a person with no arms or legs? I don't know, that's why I asked you.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Knock Knock. Who's there? Your roommate, I forgot my keys.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why did the woman make so many sandwiches? She was a mother catering for her child's sporting event.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What happpens when a Jew walks into a wall with a boner? He breaks his nose

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: he was sucidal because his kids hate him and his wife cheated on him.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the Irisman say to the bartender? Don't know? i don't speak Irish?

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first monkey Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Ding-Dong.............no knock-knocking required

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops