what does lady gaga have that some people dont have? a penis.

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A squirrel and an owl are sitting in a tree. The squirrel turns to the owl and says nothing, because it is a squirrel and squirrels can't talk. The owl turns to the squirrel and eats it, because it is a bird of prey.

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Your mom

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ARGH! LADY THAT SNAKE BIT MY PECKER! YOU HAVE TO SUCK THE POISON OUT NOW! OMG SURE, err...Meh, thats not a poisonous snake... Oh... dammit! I mean phew! Ouch ouch ouch!

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What did one liar say to the other liar? I'm very honest.

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Why was Rosa Parks forced to sit in the back of the bus? Every seat wsa taken, and the back was her only option

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Whats worse tan finding a worm in your apple? Being touched by Michael Jackson

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why did the baby stop crying his mother killed him with an axe

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Did u hear bout the guy who went to the donut shop yeah he has brown hair

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I would tell you a joke about a broken pencil, but it's pointless.

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A man walks into a bar... The steal bar hurt his face and had to get stitches.

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You know how we have iPods? OJ Simpson strangled his wife.

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what do you call someone that works in a corner shop? Mohamed

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Two horses were in a field. One said "this is a good place to hide". The other said, "well, let's hope they don't Findus here!"

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Man hears son masturbating in room. The dad enters the room and tells him "Son if you keep jacking off you will go blind". The boy replies "Dad I"m over here".

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Ching Chong Bing Bong.. Yoyao? Dat U?

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mitchell palmer sucks

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Scenario: Two polar bears are sitting in a bathtub The first one says, "Hey, can you pass the radio please" And the second one replies, "Sorry, my cousins are made of soap."

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Knock knock. Who's there? Not Madeline McCann.

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What did the cow say to the farmer who was driving by in a tractor? MOOOOOOOO!

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What do you get when you mix a donkey with a bungee cord? My bouncy ass

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When life gives you lemons... you probably just found lemons...

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What's sad about three black men driving over a cliff?

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How do you make a clown cry? Kill his wife and kids.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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