Why did the baby fall off of the swing? Because he had no arms.

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an englishman an irishman and a scotsman walked into a bar there was no welshman. they didn't phone him due to his uncontrollable thirst for violence

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A duck walks into a bar and the bartender--TOAST

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A deer looks at the ground and sees something strange. He wonders what it could be. A rabbit comes along and thinks the same. A badger promptly arrives after the rabbit and thinks the exact same. 4 seconds later they all get hit by a train.

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There was a little girl who went on a walk. She was about 8 years old. An old green stationwagon pulled up to the little girl. He said,"Need a ride?" She shook her head and climbed in. 2 weeks later she was found dead in a ditch. She was raper and murdered

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what do you call a dead arab? a suicide bomber

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You in love with me? Like platonic? Fine, we will move operations elsewhere, you really got to tell me who you are working for someday.

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have you seen stevie wonder's house. no? Well nethier has he you

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You: What gets wetter and wetter the more it dries? Person: A towel?! You: No, an aquaphilian woman drying off a car ;)

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An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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Q: What's worse than getting jury duty? A: Getting herpies from a rabbit

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Why did the parents tell their adopted son to go to bed? He was awake long after he should've been, according to the rules in their household.

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Hey, what do you call an absent-minded person? I'm sorry what did you say?

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A man is walking with a boy through a swamp. The boy says to the man, "I'm scared." The man says, "You think you're scared, I have to walk out of here alone."

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so today, i was walking along, and i noticed that it was sunny outside.

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A man walks into a bar and says "Ouch"

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how do you kill a blond? there are many ways but every one of them is illegal and could be criminally chargeable.

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A black man went to jail while a white man received $200 dollars. They were playing a friendly game of monopoly.

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Why did the Jew have very bad gas? He had very rough anal sex and air got stuck up his bum

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Hey you must be a parking ticket, because your yellow.

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BEST PLACE IN THE WORLD COPENHAGEN !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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The guys Joke above me is funnier^.

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A duck, a goose, a turkey and a bald eagle were all flying together. All four of them were shot and killed by drunk hunters with machine guns. The hunters were promptly arrested by police authorities for shooting their national symbol. They were found guilty, and the other three birds were cooked for their last meals.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Sheriff Sheriff who? Sheriff Robinson your husband has died in a local car accident.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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