What's got four legs but can't move by itself? A chair.

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Q. What do you call a blonde in a library? A. Lost.

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Why did Sally fly off the swing, She had no arms Knock knock *Who's there* Not Sally

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Help, this is an urgent message from the S.S. Obesity. We're sinking; I can't imagine why.

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What do you call a black man in a police car? Officer.

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Jim and Dave walk into a bar. The bartender says, "what'll it be?" Dave is black.

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This is no joke. Well, I did warn you.

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Q)Why can't you hear a Pterodactyl go to the toilet? A)Because the P is silent.

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Wanna hear the orphan joke knock knock who's there? not you parents

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What did the man say to the bartender when he wanted a beer? Get me a beer.

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Q: What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? A: "Here come the elephants over the hill!"

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Canadians

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What do elephants have that no other animal has? Baby elephants.

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Roses are red Violets are red The grass is red OH MY GOD, THERE'S BLOOD EVERYWHERE!!!

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If life throws you cars, you are probably on LSD.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn't matter. It won't come to you regardless what you call it.

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Q. Whats black and rhymes with Snoop? A. Dr Dre

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So, I was walking down the street. As i walked past a oak door an entrance to a mental institution, I heard a bored voice going, "eleven, eleven, eleven". My curiosity, like a cat, got better of me and I decided to take a peek through the key hole and see the eleven things being counted. As soon as I had my eye on the key hole, I was poked in the eye by a metal rod. Startled, I feel back to the street. And, sure enough, heard the same bored voice, going, "twelve, twelve, twelve".

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What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neil Armstrong walked on the moon and Michael Jackson appeared in court several times under charges of child molestation

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What is green and has 4 wheels?... Grass, I lied about the wheels

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Asians look like they have down syndrome.

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Why was johnny so good at reading? Because he had 3. Toes

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What did the jewish boy get for Christmas? Nothing.

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mangos mandarins mushrooms mustache :{

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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