what do you call a dead black man? dead

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Q: How do you solve a problem like Maria. A: You kill her. You kill Maria.

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How do you get a clown off of a swing? Hit him with an axe

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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Laughter is the best medicine. Not for cancer.

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What's the difference between a plumber and a gynecologist? One has a knowledge of piping system of a house and the ability to fix said pipes and the other has the medical knowledge of a women's vagina.

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(two firefighters are climbing an undersea mountain in Brazil) Why do elephants fear the natural causes of silver icecream cones? Because the cars in the parking garage jump the moon while doing jumping jacks.

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Why is he called Donald Trump? Because he trumps a lot...

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Why was Uncle Monty's head damn tasty? Because he shoved it up a horses arse when it needed a shit.

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Who let the dogs out? The pet shop.

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Knock knock Violets are blue Helen Keller The Holocaust.

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why did the chicken cross the road? who cares i dying from cancer

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Whats black and has a large penis? A dog with large genitalia.

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What do you call a gay dog? Steve

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What do you call an Indian cook, that cooks in a Chinese restaurant? A chef

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What do you call an Arabic man flying a plane? A Pilot.

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What's black and white and red all over? A skunk in a blender.

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Whats the difference between a dead baby and an orange? One is a tasty treat you can peal and enjoy and the other is an orange

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knock knock. who's there? Kony. Kony who? Kony says:" Uganda be abducted"

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Creationism.

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Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's alright now.

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why did the plane crash? because the pilot was a tomato.

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Why was the skeleton afraid to cross the road? He wasn't, and in fact was entirely unaware that said road existed given the fact that he was deceased; and therefore lacked any sensory organs and motor functions associated with crossing roads.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops