You walk into a shopping centre, what wont you see? Madelin McCann.

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How do you confuse a blonde? take the albuterol

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Sometimes, people ask me, "Do you always have to be so obnoxious?" And to that I reply, "I don't always, but when I do, I prefer Dos Equis." Stay thirsty, my friends.

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A guy walks into a bar with a watermelon under his shirt. The bartender asks what is under his shirt. He says, a watermelon.

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Why did Sally fall of the swing? Because she had no arms Knock knock.. Who's there? Not Sally!

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Why did the cow have to travel everywhere by an electric scooter? It had motor neurone disease.

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What is funnier than a dead baby? almost everything. there is nothing funny about a dead baby.

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Why are some people so barbaric? Because some people are German.

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Want to hear the story about how I got put in prison? So I have an odd bunch of friends: one of them is Polish and he works at a call centre, the other is a slave trader and his name is Richard. We tend to meet outside our Polish friend's house to speak or to do "business" when need be (I run errands for Richard) and the other day that's where I got asked to kidnap an American. "That's strange" I thought, but nevertheless I went out and took the American from his house and carried him over in a sack over to our meeting place. I handed him over and sneaked off as soon as I could, thinking I was home free. But I wasn't. The police turned up all angry like. There were witnesses. Turns out a bunch of kids saw me giving Dick a Yank next to the telephone Pole.

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A blonde walks into a bar therefore her face hurts

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Knock, Knock. Who's there Hey, it's Dave. Oh well come on in.

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Why is this website named Anti Joke because that's what the creator wanted it to be called

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What's black, white, and red all over? A penguin getting crushed by a sledgehammer.

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Chuck Norris is so strong, he can probably lift more than 80 pounds

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how can u tell if you have cancer if the doctor says so

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What do you get when you cross a lion with a rhinoceros? A trip to the hospital and animal cruelty charges.

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It's like they always say, you get what you pay for. Unless your a woman, then you get what other men pay for.

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Q: What's worse than falling off a mountain A: Falling off a mountain into a pile of spikes

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? Well, it all depends on the size of the bathtub.

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Why did the black man purchase a gun? Because the man enjoys to go hunting in his spare time.

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What is black, white, and red all over? A skunk in a blender.

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Why is 6 scared of 7? Because last year, when 6 was going to the gas station, 7 approached him and said "gimme all your money or else I'll shoot you". 6 was so scared he ran away crying. About a few days later 6 spots 7 again and this time he was with 9. He said "yo 6! If you don't give me your money, im gonna do this to you!" and then 7 started biting and chewing 9 as if he was some kind of cannibal. 6 ran away and called the police. He told him that 7 ate 9.

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Why was 6 scared of 7? Because 7 8 had a lot of PCP went crazy and shoved a gun down 6's throat

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what did the murderer say when he lost his gun? dangit. now i cant kill anyone

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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