Your mother is so fat that she is highly likely to get heart disease and/or diabetes.

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What do You call a man with no arms or legs? Dead, He died of blood loss 3 hours ago

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? Statistically speaking, in a brief survey done by the United States Traffic Commission, they stated that a standard 4-door sedan had the highest percentile of drivers. So, in regards to the legal system, a person may only fit, in fact, 5 jews in a car.

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A little boy uses a horrible curse against his classmate. The classmate is so angry he tells the teacher. The teacher is so astounded at the little boy's use of language he sends him to the principal. When the principal hears of the foul language he's so ashamed he calls the police. The police can't believe the little boy said such a bad word, they think he deserves to go to court. The court dates are set up. When the Judge hears of the hate words he can think of no other worthy punishment except prison until he turns 21. After the kid is let out he heads for the bar across town where all the ex-prisoners go. He orders up a drink, bartender asks "What'd you do?". The kid explains the curse to the bartender. The barkeep becomes so upset that he kicks the kid out of the bar. While crossing the street to go to another bar he gets hit by a truck. Whats the moral of the story? Look both ways before crossing the street....

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Two chairs were sitting there. One chair says "Could you pass me that cup?" The other chair says "Oh my God a talking chair!"

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Knock knock Who's there? Adolf Adolf who? Adolf Hitler. Are you a jew?

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I hate it when people talk about concentration camps... my grandad died in one He fell off the guard tower

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What's cheese that's not yours? Mine.

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A Jew, an atheist, and an Asian man walk into a bar. They all have a drink and then go home to their families

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Your momma's so stupid that as a child she was often afraid to show her report card to her parents, for fear of their disapproval.

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Im Black And I Will Beat You Children At Checkers,They Can Be Red

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Robert: wanna hear a joke? Robort:ok, shoot. Robert: *BANG!*

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Q: What do you call a dog after the dentist? A: A dog.

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9:11 make a wish

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a priest and a rabbi are walking down a road together the rabbi says: so your a priest how about that the priest says: fine ive read the bible a few times good book

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What's white, wet, and sticky? A tissue that I just blew my nose with.

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Knock-Knock The man wasn't home, so there was no answer.

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You scream I scream We all screamed when the chicken crossed the road

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Whats worse than standing on lego? Rebecca black. whats worse than Rebecca Black? Justin Bieber. Whats worse than justin Bieber? Standing on a baby that isnt yours.

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Ron Paul for President!

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How do you make a person dissapear? You can't that would break the laws of physics, so therefore rendered impossibe.

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Why would Jesse Ziegenbein and Terran Hansen make a good couple? Because they both smell like shit and are fat as hell

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Did you see Stevie Wonder's new house? no. He didn't either.

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You

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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