- Anti Joke

What did the cow say to the chicken crossing the road? Moo

Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

Q: What did one car say to another? A: Nothing. Cars can't speak.

What do you call an iPod that doesn't work? An iPod that doesn't work.

Why did the Chicken cross the road? To get to Your House. Knock Knock. Who's there? The chicken

What is green and if it fell on you from a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

Why do birds suddenly appear? Because they can fly

What time is it in China right now? I have no idea, it would depend on when you are reading this. Perhaps you should look at a world clock, watch, or some other sort of time-telling device rather than humorous website. Its purpose is not to tell time. However, there are many other places for this. Good luck surfing the web, friend. I have aided you the best that I can. I only hope that you will find what you are looking for.

suzy took a bath with bubbles what?......... I'm sure bubbles is a nice guy

Me: What's the difference between a zebra and a slice of cheese? You: I don't know Me: Me neither

Knock knock Who’s there? The police, your family was killed in a horrific car crash on highway 22 this morning at 10:15 after they collided head on with a truck. They died instantly if it is any conciliation. We will contact you further into our investigation. Dave then poured himself a whiskey and thought about all the good times he and his family shared, teaching Jessica to ride a bike, his and Kate’s honeymoon in Honolulu, playing catch with Jacob. That’s when the full extremity of the situation hit Dave causing him to break into tears he sat and cried for three hours and fifteen minutes. Once he had gotten that out of his system he decided to visit his mother and tell her the horrible news. Knock Knock Who’s there? Dave Dave who? Again Dave breaks into tears as his grandmothers althsiemers has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember her sons name. Feeling shattered he decides not to go through the process of explaining who he is and decides to head to the local pub to drown his sorrows. Bartender: hard day? Dave: my wife and two beautiful children were mauled in a head on collision with a truck and my mother can’t remember who I am. Bartender: yeah sure but was it a hard day? Dumbstruck with this ridiculous remark Dave pauses for a moment. The bar is silent only the sounds of bottles clinking and feet tapping on bar stools can be heard. Cigarette smoke hangs in the air. Dave stares at the bartender momentarily then throws his bottle at him send him off balance Dave then grabs the shot gun he knows the bartender keeps behind the counter and shoots the bartender at point blank range. Some customers run scared witless other try to control Dave but only end up in the same position as the bartender. Dave is left standing in a pool of blood. The smell of death hangs in the air with the cigarette smoke. Feeling slightly better Dave heads home and kills himself. Dave was an excellent plumber we will miss him.

What did the orphan say to the other orphan? Annie is my favorite movie.

What did the asian say to the President of the United States? I don't speak English

Do you know what big feet mean. Big socks

Whats why was the 18 year old boy scared of his dad? Cause his dad butt raped him when he was 7.

How many arabs does it take to screw in a light bulb? One. We also have a black president.

What do you call Americans Watching Canadians? Hockey

what do you call a cat with no tail? smithers.

Why did the Smartie get fired from the M&M factory? For throwimg out all the W&Ws

A black man went on the bus and sat down next to a white man. The white man looked up from his magazine and stared at the black man. They then chit-chatted and enjoyed their trip.

Chuck Norris tried to return some jeans to Target and when they didn't give him his money he kickeed them in the face.

Hey, i just met you. And this is crazy! But im on bathsalts ! GAUH Your face looks tasty!! :D

Knock knock. Who's there? Just use the peephole. I am.

Did you hear about the guys who wanted to go to Hawaii??? They didn't go!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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