A man was going to take his girlfriend to prom, and decided to pick up his suit from the dry cleaners. Unfortunately, there was a long line. He then went to pick up some flowers for his date, but there was a long flower line. Finally, he takes his date to prom and decides to get some punch for them.He returns with the refreshing beverage and the couple has a wonderful time.

Why couldn't the boy with no arms and no Legs swim? Because he was black.

Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana, Jack got high, pulled down his fly, and asked Jill if she wanna. Jill said yes, pulled up her dress, and had a little fun. But stupid Jill forgot the pill, and now they have a son

What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? AIDS

a man walks in to a bar. he says oww.

An old lady walks into a bar. She was the janitor.

a grasshopper walks into a bar the bartender says hey we have a drink named after you the grasshopper says what dave?

whats the difference between 100 dead babies and a ferrari? the ferrari is not in my garage.

What kind of people have fat lips? People who have gotten punched in the lip or have suffered a serious lip injury that has caused their lips to swell up.

A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want to hear first?" The man responds "I'd like to hear the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance covered everything." The man hangs his head and tears up as he asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor heads for the door as he answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you're being denied coverage. None of your future treatments or appointments will be paid for." The man snaps his fingers and says "I should've voted Democrat!"

What did the mother say to her son when she saw his report card? I don't know. I wasn't there.

Why didn't Rosa Parks get her fat black ass up? Because she was an avid partier and had anal with roughly 8 different guys the night before.

One kisses says: I have had 3 bottles of water today and I haven't peed yet. His friend says: O you probably have a urinary track infection.

What is long and painful? It's a sword, get your mind out of the gutter.

Why didn't the boy get any presents for christmas? Because his parents are dead.

How does Justin Bieber remove a condom? he farts

An enormous black man wearing a durag walks into a bar. Due to the diverse and friendly comminuty he lives in, nobody judges him on his race, ethnicity, or culture. He goes on to pursue his career in business and gets a Masters Degree in Business Administration. He get's a job as an IT Director for a very successful business and he marries a well educated woman. They have 2 kids, but one of them is diagnosed with "Ondine's Curse" and dies in it's sleep. Distressed, and mourning the death of his newborn son, he seeks help from his parents. Regardless of his parents comforting and loving attitude towards him, he goes into the inner city smoking and selling illegal drugs like crack. He even got into cocaine and marjuana. 4 and a half years later, he was about to attempt suicide, when he saw his only living son, whom he loved with all his heart, walk into the room with his teddybear. He just looked at him, and he looked back. Suddenly, the father started crying. Flashbacks started playing though his mind of his happy life he was steadily pursuing. "why me?" He constantly thought to himself. What did he do to deserve this? 7 years in the future. The father was diagnosed with terminal cancer. Right before his death, he asked to talk to his son. "Son, listen to me. Never try to comtemplate the world we live in, it's too spontaneous and insane to understand. This world can either give you bliss or depression. Nothing inbetween. And most people who make there way up to the top eventually will fall. What goes up must come down. Ha... I never thought I'd be talking to me own son giving him a silly lecture in a deathbed. But just look at me..."the father gets very muddled and disoriented* "...Son. They say most of us have a good reason to live. Well don't most of us have a good reason to die too?" Malik Cartwright died on March 22, 1999. His son went on to legally change his middle name to "Leek", after his father's nickname. He went on to get the same Master's Degree that his father received, and had kids of his own. The whereabouts of the mother are unknown.

ok i'm typing, so how does this work?

Why did the little boy fall off the swing? Because he has no arms.

Why was a white man mowing his lawn ? The lawn was getting undesirably long which provoked the white man.

Knock Knock Who's there? Can people stop posting grammatically incorrect jokes on here. Half of the sentences do not make sense.

What do you call a dinosaur with no teeth? He's British

Old McDonald had a farm. He grew corn there, and got reasonably wealthy. Then he retired to the Bahamas.

Why was the phone wearing glasses? It lost its contacts!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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