What do a black man and a dog have in common? They're both going to die some day.

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what do you call a white man who appears to be standing on water? a surfer

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Wanna hear a joke? Women's Basketball

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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Pete and Repeat were on a boat. Pete fell off. Who was left? Repeat. Yeah.

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Q: What did the chicken cross the road? A: "Why did the chicken cross the road?" is a common riddle or joke in several languages. The answer or punchline is: "To get to the other side." The riddle is an example of anti-humor, in that the curious setup of the joke leads the listener to expect a traditional punchline, but they are instead given a simple statement of fact. "Why did the chicken cross the road?" has become largely iconic as an exemplary generic joke to which most people know the answer, and has been repeated and changed numerous times.

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Or something... Volume one. What do you do if you are in the jungle and get confronted by one jaguar to your left, and one tiger at the right and got only one bullet left in your gun? You shoot the Jaguar and drive home in the tiger.

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Why did the boy take the girls backpack? he has this many hands

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Rose are red, violets are blue, niggas is soft, just like you

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What's black and has the texture of tar? Molasses

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There are 3 people in a car, shit, manners, and asshole. They are driving and shit falls out. They pull over and manners gets out to help shit. Then a cop comes and pulls them over. The cop ask asshole what his name is. He said asshole. The cop said what. Then asshole said asshole. Then the cop says where are your manners. Asshole said over their picking up shit.

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How many people were trampled on Black Friday this year? Not enough.

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What did the chilean miner say to the other Chilean miner? I wish we could get out of here.

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Q: Why is Rosie odonell fat? A: Because you are sexual attracted to small children.

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whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew?... Never mind, that was a stupid question.

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What did the man say to the waiter when he was about to tip him? I'm not gay, but $20 is $20.

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It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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whats the difference between marmalade and jam? you cant marmalade ur cock up a girls arse

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What do you call a fish with no I's Animal cruelty

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What is worse than when the Titanic sunk? You Cannot say. You were on that ship.

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here's a chuck norris fact: Chuck Norris is 5'10 and lost to bruce lee!

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Q. What's big, green, has four legs, fuzzy, and if fell out of a tree would kill you? A. A pool table

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Q: What's a crutch's favorite song? A: Lean on me

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Roses are blue, Violets are red, Pansies are green, I think I'm colorblind

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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