Why do people read Bibles? To learn about God.

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what do you call a cow with no legs? ground beef

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got a smoke dectecter, You died in a fire

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Yo mamma's so fat she attracts other matter with a force proportional to the product of their masses divided by the square of the distance.

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How do you have problems paying your monthly mortgage if you live in a box emmanuel

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A boy walks up to a girl he finds attractive and says "You're body's kick'in! ... i mean...hey, do you know karate?"

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Why did the chicken cross the road ? To get to the other side . Unfortunately , there was a car accident and shrapnel from the explosion [caused by gas on fire] cut his head off causing the old woman to faint , and later die a horrible death .

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Q: Why did the man take a shower? A: because he was dirty.

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Roses are red Babies cry Get in my bed Or you will dies

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What happens when you cross a Mexican and a Chinese man? A multiracial man.

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Back in my day,we used to have Johnny Cash,Bob Hope and Steve Jobs. Now we have higher divorce rates.

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I just lied when I clicked the 'I have read and agree to the Terms of Service' to post this when in fact, I didn't read it at all.

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What did the plant say to the human. Nothing.

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A: Knock Knock. B: ... A: Knock Knock. B: ... A: I guess nobody's home. (leaves.)

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What's the best part about having sex with twenty four year olds? There's twenty of them.

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All your base are belong to us. Shame on you for making fun of the Japanese. They can't help their broken English sometimes. How would you like it if someone were to nitpick about every single word you typed? Yeah, bet you wouldn't like that, would you? Would it make you feel a bit more guilty to know these people suffered through a horrible earthquake and tsunami - and still managed to survive? Huh? Or that they continue to outshine most other countries in the world in the field of high-technology? Sure, maybe they DID blow up Pearl Harbor in 1941 and send us reeling into another World War. Everyone makes mistakes. Based on the past, "All your base are belong to us" seems pretty trivial now, doesn't it? Go apologize to a Japanese man right now, and never speak of this again.

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who is smarter than a human? a nerd

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The mighty wizard said "come fourth cowardly lion and receive bravery" but he came fifth and got absolutely nothing. Todo came fourth and got the bravery.

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people who spank you sure are a pain in the ass.

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Alister Darling plucks his eyebrows.

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What do u call a man who sells hot dogs on the street? A Mexican

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There would not be any me in we, you would have to hijack a media station, you would instantly be branded terrorists, and even if you where not, do you believe that you could have used the media in order to spread individuality, or would you simply have sought to control the masses like the rest? I am not saying that television is wrong, I am saying that as long as there are not enough people willing to think for themselves, and remain loyal to us and themselves, something which we failed at when we where at our greatest peak, then we are all media zombies eventually, and I do not mind, complacency is better than a constant struggle for survival.

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An Englishman an Irishman and a Scotsman went in a hot air balloon and had a magical afternoon that none of them will ever forget, except the Scotsman because he fell out during take off and is now in a coma.

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What happens when you ask a blind guy to drive you somewhere? What happens if you ask a blind guy to drive? You will end up in a four way accident with 8 people dead 2 of which children and 1 baby. You might survive but the blind guy won't so you will have to go to court for him on the issue. You realize that you are terrible when it comes to the law and you get yourself thrown in jail for 2 years. When you get out you are so tired of getting butt raped that you go out and do it to someone else. Then you go back to jail an the process repeats it's self because this is the American justice system. We could work on it a little bit. But yeah, don't ask a blind guy to drive, your butt says thanks.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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