Tom: Knock knock! Guy: Who's there? Tom: Carrot. Guy: Impossible.

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Why did the girl break her leg? Because I pushed down the staircase.

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How do you get a blonde to eat crayons? Threaten to kill her parents with a hacksaw.

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Knock Knock Whose there? Lemons Lemons who? The fruit

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Dylan: "I dont understand anti-jokes"

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Why is Abraham Lincoln a bad driver? Because he is dead.

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"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "Jeff" "Jeff who?" "Jeff Johnson" "From the office?" "No I work at the dehli" "The one on 6th avenue?" "No, the one on Park." "What do you want?" "Could you open the door?" "No, I don't know you" "Isn't this Mr. Walter's house?" "No, my name is Roger Stevens" "I'm sorry I must be at the wrong house" "What address are you looking for?" "15322 N Gary street" "This is 15323 N Gary" "Oh I'm sorry" "Try knocking across the street" "Thank you"

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Q: What do you get when you mix a joke with a rhetorical question?

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I remember the last words my Grandfather said before he kicked the bucket: "Hey, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?"

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Fuzzy-wuzzy was a bear, Fuzzy-wuzzy had no hair, Fuzzy-wuzzy died of cancer.

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knock knock whos there? the police, your under arrest

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How did the mexicans get to the United States of America? By plane.

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I have a red ferrari and 20 dead babies in my garage. Didn't I have a blue ferrari?

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Three decapitated children walk into a bar..... If you are laughing at this....what the hell is wrong with you?

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While walking along the beach, a man stubs his toe on a half buried lamp. He picks it up, dusts it off, and a enormous Genie appears in front of him. "You have released me from my 10,000 year imprisonment. I will grant you 3 wishes to repay you." says the Genie. The man quickly uses his 1st wish for wealth and the 2nd for the love of a beautiful woman. Unable to think of a 3rd wish and seeing the sunken look on the Genie's face, he wished for the Genie's freedom. The Genie uses his unrestrained powers to kill the man, resurrect Hitler and enslave the human race.

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What do you call an African-American picking cotton and harvesting wheat. A farmer.

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I walked up to my friend who's a drug addict holding a can of coke. I then told said friend that I liked the smell of coke. My friend then went on to snort 27 Kilos of cocaine.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? You Know. You Know who?.......GOODBYE!

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Chuck Norris once went skydiving. his parachute did not deploy. where he landed is now known as the grand canyon

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Don't you hate it when your reading a sentence and it doesn't end how you testicles.

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What did the pony say when it lost its voice? Nothing. Ponies are incapable of speech.

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2 drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff. Bu dum, cshhhh.

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A child walks into a classroom.

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Roses are blue Violets are red Is that really What I just said?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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