A pirate walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, did you know you have a steering wheel down your pants?" The pirate replies, "Arrrgh, there's been a horrible nautical accident. Please call an ambulance immediately."

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Why did the redneck leave his wife? To marry his daughter.

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Why won't lance Armstrong survive 2012 Because he has cancer

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A new born baby is left alone in his crib after a long day of playing, He gets taken out of his crib for his first meal with his grandparents, he is excited, His grandparents come in and after the usual praising of the child they sit down for dinner, They are having chicken, His mother puts the spoon to his mouth, He chews it and swallows it, It gets stuck in his throat and he suffocates and dies.

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Whats worse than anal sex Anal sex with razor blades

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Why did the cow cross the road? -Because it lives in India and is allowed to.

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What happened when the wife refused to make her husband a sandwich? Since he was paralyzed from the neck down, he starved to death.

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What's the difference between a black guy and a bench? A black guy is a living, breathing human being, and a bench is an inanimate object

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two hippo's were in the lake. The water was up to their eyes. What did one hippo say to the other? I don't know why but i keep thinking it's tuesday.

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what is racecar backwards in reverse

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why did u put your iphone in the blender?!?!? because i wanted to make apple juice..

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What's funnier than a jalapeño? A jalapeño on a stick.

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what happened when glen haire jumped of a high building? he died.

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Bruce Forsith's energy and charisma.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didnt, he got hit by a bus.

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your mamma so dumb she makes frankienstien look smart

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What did one chick in a clothes shop say to another? That's cheap

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What is big and white and will kill you if it falls from a tree? I don't know. I cant think f anything big and white that fall from trees that can kill you and besides if it is big enough to kill you then you will likely see it and avoid the section of that tree lest the big white object should fall and kill you because of this it is likely that anything that is big and white and falls from trees will in result kill you.

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Knock Knock. Who`s there? The police, your family were killed in a bakery A German bakery.

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Q:How meny jews can u fit in a mini? A:5 in the seats and 1 million in the ashtray.

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a christian man asked god a question. he did not get an answer. a jewish man asked god a question. he did not get an answer. a muslim man asked god a question. he too, did not get an answer. an atheist man asked god a question. he got his answer.

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Your mother lives so loosely that she has several terminal diseases and only has 3 weeks to live.

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Why did chuck norris die Brain tumor

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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