There once was a man from Nantucket, Whose body parts were all adequate and thus could not perform any odd sexual acts upon himself.

What's sad about an elderly couple who has had a long, fruitful marriage? Nothing.

What do you call a low-fat banana? A nothing...

What did the black man say to the white man? Hi im phill

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face?" The horse says "I have Cancer."

A young cow died of terminal cancer; he said moo before he died

-What do you call the brown spots in your yard? Dog shit.

A Black man walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder and the bar tender says " thats something weird you got there". The parrot says "yeah i found it on the street".

Two men were standing on the 34th floor of a 65 floor building. They were trapped in a office with one window. here is their conversation: guy1: oh no what should we do??? guy2: I don't know!! this is awful!!! guy1: I have children and a loving wife!!! guy2 walks to the window sill and leans over. guy1: what are you doing? there is more to life we can get through this!! guy 2 jumps out the window guy 1 runs to the window sticks his head out and yells "MAKE MINE CHOCOLATE!!!"

This comment is anti to jokes.

A black guy and a Mexican jump off a bridge. Who dies first? Nobody cares.

what did helen keller say when she dropped a box on her toe. nothing. helen keller cannot speak

What do you call an englishman who wakes up in Africa Confused

what did the Nazi do when his Jewish rabbit died? silly Nazi rabbits don't have religion

A cat walks into a bar. What's the first thing it says? Absolutely nothing. It was knocked out.

Why did the jew pick up the unicorn lying on the sidewalk? Because he dropped it.

Ambition is like a frog sitting on a Venus Flytrap. The flytrap can bite and bite, but it won't bother the frog because it only has little tiny plant teeth. But some other stuff could happen and it could be like ambition.

A woman got in her car to drive to work. She kept her hands on the wheel and eyes on the road and was able to avoid any accidents that could have occurred.

How do you make a Flamingo cry? Hit it with a sledgehammer.

A:Hi, do you like to blow bubbles? B:Yea... A:Hi, my names bubbles

Knock knock Who's there? The police. The police who? Your stupid.

Who were the fastest readers of all time? The victims of 9/11. They went through over 87 stories in less than 2 1/2 minutes.

What's brown a sticky? -A stick

What do you call a black guy who sells drugs? a pharmacist

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...