i was raised in a bad family. i was the youngest and i was abused then i died three years back. then i died again and then i died again then i died again then again then i LIVED but then i died again then i died again then i died again then i died again

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What's the hardest thing to do while masturbating? Having sex.

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Why'd the duck cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock! Who's there? The duck.

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Q:How do you know if you have a big enough oven? A: If the jew fits

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Q:What is usually pink, brown or black, usually big and comes out smaller, which goes in and out of your mothers mouth? A: Could be lots of things really... Moral: But we all know what you imagined you sick bastard!

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Jesus on the cross promised he would return rite? So three days later he returns in ghost form and leaves. So why people still waiting for him? He returned and left already! (Lack of Moral?): The third coming: this summers blockbuster hit!

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One time, as a dare, John was forced to eat 5 king size chocolate bars, 3 cakes, 8 Oreo Milkshakes, and 7 packages of Krispy Kreme Donuts. As a result, John has diabetes.

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What do you think JFK would be doing if he was alive today? Yelling for help and trying to somehow escape his coffin.

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race-car = rac-ecar

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Knock knock Whos there? Orphan. Orphan who? Orphan miller. Orphan miller who? Orphan miller jones. Orphan miller jones who? Thats it. Oh okay, I get it you're doing a knock knock joke Yeah. did it go alright? Yeah I guess, untill we started talking in 3rd person.

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What's the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral? An Irish wedding is the celabration of two people joining in matrimony, and an Irish funeral is a somber rememberence of a deceased person.

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What's black and white and nailed to the floor? A skunk that's nailed to the floor.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Daisies are red, OH SHIT! MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE!!!

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What do you call a person with no arms or legs rolling around in leaves? I don't know that seems like a highly improbable situation

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why was the boy mad at school? something probably upset him.

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What's so similar about a zombie and a black man? They are both almost human.

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Knock Knock. Whose there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

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What do you get if you mix a baby with a blender? A prison sentence.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Hello! I am Harry Potter, and i will be teaching you pottery today! Yes, call me Mr. Pottery!

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What did the tractor say when he lost his farmer? wheres my farmer?

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tried to think of a great "anti-joke" not creative enough

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Get in the car

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Whats worse than a pile of dead baby's? Being raped by a giant scorpion. Well that escalated quickly. Also i'm gonna call the cops.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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