What do you call a chicken with it's head chopped off. A decapitated chicken.

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Why couldn't johnny go home? Someone commited arsen and burned it down.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Earlier that morning the farmers daughter had inadvertently left the gate to the yard open as she was preoccupied by her worry over a maths test set for that day. She hadn't studied for the test as she was still deeply distressed over her fathers recent heart attack. This, coupled with the added burden of household chores now delegated to her because her mother was out trying to get the west field prepared for sowing, had made her quite forgetful and distracted of late. Whilst several chickens escaped, only one strayed so far that it actually encountered the road facing the farm. After crossing the road and gorging itself in a soybean crop, the chicken was struck by a furniture removers van as it attempted to make its way home. Several hours later the dead chicken was spotted by a Community Mental Health Worker who was doing his bi-weekly rural clinic run. The chicken, being a bantam caught the eye of the Mental Health worker, who was a keen trout fisherman. "Cool" thought the mental health worker- "those feathers will make for excellent trout flies". He stopped and plucked a handful of the most iridescent blue, green and orange feathers and placed them in an envelope. He rolled himself a cigarette, sat on the trunk of his car and admired the clouds. "God, I love this job", he muttered to no one in particular.

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Why did single women didn't want any babies for? because of Ice Ice Baby.

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roses are red violets are blue I forogt what I was doing where am I?

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Whoever said "don't start what you can't finish" hopefully didn't think about having kids Cuz that would be horror Get it?

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Q:What did the policemen say to the other policemen? A:Safe

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I would piss if alex berry had aids n died

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knock knock who's there police

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why didn't bob die? because he liked his hair just the way it was.

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If I had a dollar for every time i got distracted, I want some ice cream

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How you make a duck cry? Raping it. How you make it shut up? Killing it. Why did no one helped the duck? Because the duck has no friends.

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Yo mama's so white, she's an albino!

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Why did the elephant cross the road? The chicken was on vacation.

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A black guy, a white guy, and a mexican are on a boat, stranded in the middle of the ocean. Feeling a bit hot due to the above average temperature of an early april afternoon, the white guy and the mexican strip down to enjoy a refreshing dip in the water a few feet from the boat. The black guy, feeling a bit left-out and perhaps even envious at the apparent fun of the other two, speaks up "Hey fellas, do you think one of you could come sit in the boat so it doesn't float away so that maybe I can enjoy the water too?" Hearing this, the white guy and the mexican look at each other utterly astonished. Grasping for a rebuttal, the white guy gathers some courage and says "Do you really think that's a good idea?... You JUST finished your sandwich."

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Why did the black man not tip his waiter? Because she provided terrible service and was undeserving.

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What's Kanye West's goal in life? To dash the hopes and dreams of Taylor Swift on national television.

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I'm hungry.

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anti jokes are like chickens. they arent funny at all. which makes them funny...

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Chuck Norris is so strong, he can lift really heavy things without hardly even trying.

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Someone made a Titanic joke to me today, It was just plane wrong.

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Roses are red Violets are violet the last time i saw this poem i couldn't rhyme no more

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Alcoholic walks into a bar and then walks out because he promised his children and wife that he would straight out his life.

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what do you do when you see a black guy with half a face. call an ambulance because hes most likely in serious pain

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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