What's Terry short for? He's missing a leg.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What is a dyslexic mathematician's favourite song? Angels. [L]

thumb_up thumb_down -12

My brother found snow in his hair from last year... only people who know me know this joke!!haha -sopie

thumb_up thumb_down -114

After waking up at the break of dawn, a man saw his dogs food dish was empty. In slight excitement for his dog to finally eat after his dish being empty all night, he called his dog in from outside, expecting him to go straight to his food dish like always. The dog walked by without noticing.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Q.) How do you make a whore blush? A.) Tell her she has pretty eyes.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you call a woman with one leg shorter than the other? Whatever her name is.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Q: How many Jewish people can fit in a four door sedan? A: 4, or possibly 5, depending on the sedan's optional seating, and depending on whether the gentleman are comfortable enough with each other to scoot closer to allow a 5th friend to join in.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Q: What do you give a woman with everything? Nothing. You own nothing to give.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Knock Knock, Who's There? Come in. Come in who? Your mom

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Where do you find a dead hooker? where you left her.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Neither has he.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How do you get a baby out of a blender? Tortilla Chips

thumb_up thumb_down +68

A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she selected: a half-gallon of 2% milk, a carton of eggs, a quart of orange juice, a head of romaine lettuce, a 2 lb. can of coffee and a 1 lb. package of bacon. As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind her watched as she placed the items in front of the cashier. While the cashier was ringing up her purchases, the drunk calmly stated, “You must be single.” The woman was a bit startled by this proclamation, but she was intrigued by the derelict’s intuition, since she was indeed single. She looked at her six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about her selections that could have tipped off the drunk to her marital status. Curiosity getting the better of her, she said “Well, you know what, you’re absolutely correct. But how on earth did you know that?” The drunk replied, “Cause you’re ugly.”

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Knock knock *I need to either stop masturbating or answer the door* He's probably masturbating. *Who's there?* The other guy left. The end.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

- What do you call a black pirate? + A Nig-ARRRRRRRRRR - No, a pirate you fucking racist

thumb_up thumb_down +7

wounds are red bruises are blue I've got five fingers the middle ones for you

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Trouble with the trolley, eh? No

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why was Hellen Keller a bad driver? She was a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do you call a blond reading a book? A blond reading a book.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the man die? He got shot!

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Meanwhile, at La'kaneisha's family reunion, they had a great time eating caviar, steamed lobster, and rare bull testicals.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

http://www.dafk.net/what/

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? 27

thumb_up thumb_down -5

there once was a little boy who lived in a little house with his little parents who ate little food. one day the boy went on a website called antijokes and he started to read a joke, by the time he had gotten to the end of the joke he realized that there was no punchline but it was very lenghty and quite pointless.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops