Why was timmy in the well? He had autism.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What do you call a drummer without a girlfriend? Homeless

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What's yellow and talks? A talking giraffe.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

I have read the Terms of Service.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

How come Helen Keller didn’t scream when she fell off the cliff? Because at 19 months she contracted an illness that left her blind and deaf and therefore never learned to properly use her vocal cords

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why didn't the black boy get any presents from Santa? Because he isn't real.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did the Sony guy say when he hit the golf ball? PS FOUR!

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why is Megan Fox so hot? Because the air conditioning broke.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What would you do for a Klondike bar? I'd go all the way to the store and buy one.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A man was about to be assassinated. The assassin said "do you have any last wishes? The man said he wished that a meteor would fly down and kill the assassin. A meteor actually did come down but that was predicted years back. The meteor fell on the assassin and killed him, the man, and any living thing aboveground on Earth.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Two women are sitting quietly in a corner, minding their own business.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the black man do when his car was rear-ended? He exchanged insurance information with the other driver.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

whats worse than a paper cut? 2012

thumb_up thumb_down +10

"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "Yeah, but you make a really great sandwich!"

thumb_up thumb_down -18

u smell oh no of wat?? dunno i just know its BADDDDDDD !!!!!! k.c

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What is white and black and red all over.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

If you walked into a grocery store right in the middle of Cuba what won't you see? The missing Malaysian MH370 Boeing.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

A woman comes to the doctor with a dog and the doctor says: -What are you doing here, dog? Get the hell out of here, you're an animal.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Why do all black people have nightmares? Beacause we killed the only one with a dream..

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Why did the Europeans colonise Africa Because they couldn't do it themselves

thumb_up thumb_down -16

How many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Assuming the fact that these children are in fact deceased, it would be highly inprobable that they could perform any task. Or that they would need to see any light at all, since the point of that dark room is to keep them concealed.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Where did Mary go when the bomb blew up? Everywhere.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Find the M: aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Santa Claus, "Ho ho ho!" Asain Santa Claus, "Hohohohohohohoho!" Pedophile Santa Claus, "Ho ho ho! Come and sit on my lap children!" Dyslexic Santa Claus, "Oh oh oh! Merry Shitcrams!" Narcopleptic Santa Claus, "Ho ho..." *snores*. Black Santa Claus, well, I wouldn't like the idea of a black fat guy breaking into my house, eating my cookies, drinking my milk, and leaving presents under my tree. Would you?

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops