Erron who the hell are you? How many people are you going to use before you finish whatever the fuck is on your agenda?

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What just hit my face? The floor

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What did the dogs say to Michael Vick? Arf Arf Arf, woof woof woof

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What do you say to a disabled man in a lift? Have a nice day.

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What do you call a man named Mark? Mark

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If life gives you lemons, keep them because hey, free lemons

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All I want for Chrismas, the murderer of my parents to be caught.

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What do you get when you combine Seth Rogen and Harrison Ford? A very risky and expensive medical experiment.

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knock, knock . whos there? the police. get the hell outside !

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Onions are like loved ones... They are both nouns. And you cry when you cut into them.

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Why did the man have square fingers? Because he has Apert Syndrome

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why did the girl scream when she got her tooth pulled? Because it hurt her.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To pick up the carcass of its road-killed younger brother and weep.

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What's the difference between a Duck and Michael Jackson? A Duck has feathers and goes "Quack quack" and Michael Jackson touches little boys......

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whats really hot the sun

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Why did the pirate get kicked out of the pirate movie? He killed 7 people while looking for treasure under the seats.

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Your mom is so fat that she steps on the scale and sees a relatively large number compared to the rest of human society.

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Why do Jews have such big noses? They don't; To suggest phenotypic variation along religious lines is preposterous.

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What's the difference between an alcoholic and a drug dealer? An alcoholic is an extremely corrupted, and unhealthy living person. Though so is a drug dealer... They are both very harmful situations in many ways.

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What does Patrick say? IM PATRICK!!! IM PATRICK PATRICK PATRICK PATRICK PATRICK PATRICK!!!!! PATRICK!!!!!

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What's short, green, and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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Patriarchy.

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What did Charlie Sheen say to Rebecca Black? If you care about the punchline I hate you.

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What do you call a horny blond on the corner? A prostitute

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops