How many fat people does it take to screw in a light bulb? Three. One to hold the ladder, another to screw it in. The third one stands to the side, just in case it breaks.

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What is frowned upon no matter what country you're in? Sex on a plane.

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What's green and frolics in the forest? A flock of cucumbers.

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Q: Why did the Asian boy pass the math test? A: By studying with dedication to the field.

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Q. Why is Italy shaped like a boot? A. Do you think they could fit all that shit in a tennis shoe?

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What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? dead parents.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, i suck a poetry now show me your tits!!!

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Why didn't the man fall off his bicycle? Because He wasn't riding a bicycle!

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What's 1 + 1? Fish. What's 2+2? Window. pie.

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Q: What's worse than finding a hundred dead babies, in one bin? A: Finding one dead baby, in a hundred bins.

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why did every one in the world die? a Train pooped it's pants.

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How do you keep an idiot in suspense..............

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Robert had 30 cheeseburgers and he ate 28 of them. What does he have now? Diabetes.

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Did you hear about the guy in town living in a tyre, he got a puncture now hes living in a flat.

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if girls witth big boobs work at hooters where does the girl with one leg work.... walmart

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Why did the batmobile lose a wheel? Because the Joker was raping Robin too hard!

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If Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee got in a fight, who would win? Chuck Norris, since Bruce Lee is dead.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations]) That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

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An Asian, white, and a black man decide to play Russian Roulette. The Asian goes first and shoots himself in the head. The white man picks up the gun for his turn. The black man runs down the street screaming. Cops see him and the white man holding the gun, both are sent to jail for life for the murder of their friend.

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Wanna hear a joke? Your contact list.

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How did the blonde die raking leaves? She fell out of the tree!

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Why was six afraid of seven? He was wanted for murder.

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your mom is so poor that now your family is at risk of losing there home

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Q: What's green, red, and covered in cookie crumbs? A: A dead girl scout.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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