A horse walks into a bar the bartender says to the horse y the long face the horse is unable to speak English, shits on the floor than leaves.

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Hey, I want to because you are really sweet and deserve it, and damn you are hot, but thats secondary in your case, in every case actually, otherwise I would just be doing it with meat whose soul and thoughts I hate/dislike/detest/etc, and that is not who I am. Once huh? I mean I said night/day/shower/breakfast table... Not so sure I can last for that long with a girl as hot and sweet as you for that long. Kidding, hey, best friend huh? Wow, I mean that`s really sweet, and you are really a special friend to me, but uh, to be honest, best friend? I barely know you... I hate this part of myself, I am blunt with that honesty thing, I may just have insulted you, but you know, I also need to be able to live with myself If I am going to enjoy life.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to his party? Because he used to be alive and was burned to death by an overturned truck carrying chemical's so his family canceled the party to organise the funeral.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She was blind and deaf, leaving her unable to respond to external stimuli and thus unlikely to able to pass a basic driving test.

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What did the little boy say to Micheal Jackson? Shouldn't you be dead?

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How old was the baby when it took its first steps? That question is impossible to answer due to the fact the parents had an abortion and the fetus remained unborn.

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Why did the platypus have no friends? Platipi are antisocial creatures by nature.

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Did you hear the one about the Mexican that went to college? All his life, Juan wanted to get a decent education, but was unable to due to his family's low income. So Juan worked hard all his life, and got a part-time job. He made a little cash here, a little there. He also studied vigorously, getting a 33 on his ACT. All that work eventually paid off, and Juan was eventually accepted at Princeton University. Juan is now a highly paid Neurological surgeon, and has saved countless lives

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Why does the man have mayonaise in his pants? A: I don't know, I was hoping you could tell me.

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How do you make $10,000 in 1 day? I don't know, but I wish I did.

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What did Mitch say to joe when he saw his fly was down? Nothing because he's a bagle

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a mulslim wlaks past a bomb shop on his way to join the international peace club

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What Sound does a baby make in a blender? I don't know I'm to busy masturbating to it

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Q: why did the boy fall off his bike? A: he wasn't very coordinated

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Once there was an egg by the name of Steve. His name was Steve the Egg.

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Whats worse than a repeated Anti-joke This One

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A blond and a brunette took an IQ test. Both of them scored above average.

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Don`t be mean? WOMAN! DO YOU NOT HOW TERRIBLE THE DEMAND YOU MAKE IS? ...Fine alright, I wont leave you hanging then... So I wont call. Moral: "Seriously though, I am leaving too, but I want the top comment"

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What's worse then failing a test. Being raped by a horse

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Whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew? Jews are people

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what is worse than falling off a bridge? .. getting pushed off a bridge

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How many dogs does it take to change a light bulb? None, any dog aware of the situation would kindly inform its owner.

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Why did the cookie go to the doctor, beause he was feeling really crumby...becuase he has testicular cancer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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