An elephant walks in a bar. The bartender and everyone rushed out as soon as they saw the elephant

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What does a kangaroo and a zucchini have in common? Neither one can ride a bike.

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What did the buisness man say to the hobo? Nothing, he threw an apple at him and laughed!

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Whats red and cant fly a plane. An apple.

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Wanna hear something irrational? Pi

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Yo mama so fat! She should be concerned because diabetes is a serious problem that can lead to a heart attack. Also STOP EATING MCDONALDS.

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What happened to the woman driver who drove to Tesco? Due to the pleasant traffic conditions, she arrived slightly earlier than expected and she finished her weekly shop in forty minutes. She returned home, once again in good traffic and ate a delicious lunch of sausages and chips.

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Your mom is so fat that when she dives into a pool she displaces a proportionately larger volume of water than people with less body mass.

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i dont hate yu i jus really really dislike yu!!!

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Whats the best way to take the leaves off the tree? - Cut down the tree-

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what do you call a cat with no tail? smithers.

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If shes old enough to count..... Then having sex with her would be considered illegal.

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why are fire engines red? well books are red magazines are red 2 two plus two is four four times three is 12 there are 12 inches in a ruler queen elizabeth was a ruler, queen elizabeth was also a ship, ships sail in the sea fish swim in the sea, fish have fins, fins fought the russians, russians are always red, fire engines are always russian. and THAT is why fire engines are red....

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember him.

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A man died and went to heaven. Luckily, he was resuscitated by a trained medical professional, and after a stern warning from his doctor, he lost weight, limited the cholesterol in his diet, and went on to live a very happy and healthy life.

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Q. How do you know when you've had too much too drink? A. Your dead(No because when your dead you can't think.)

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Terry is at his job, when he drops his cookie on the floor. His coworker accidentally steps on it as he's about to pick it up. "Sorry" says his coworker. "I guess that's the way the cookie crumbles" said Terry. Turns out Terry is black.

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What do you get when you cross a dog with a cat? Nothing, it is impossible to mix 2 different animals

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Whats a black and white and red all over? i dont know...who spends their time researching this kind of stuff

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A zookeeper, a shoemaker, and a guy named Billy Jones walks into a bar. The bartender says "sorry, we closed". So they left.

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A fish swims up your penis...

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i dislike sack in my mouth

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What did the boy eat for dinner? Shit.

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A man decided to commit suicide. He did.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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