Q: what did the common cold say to the cough? A: you are SO annoying!

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What did the snowman say when winter was ending? -Nothing you dumbass

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Max who Max Who's there Knock knock I'm dyslexic

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Is this the Krusty Krab? Actually it is,how may i help you?

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Q. How much wood can a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? A. Actually woodchucks can't chuck wood only beavers can

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Womens rights

thumb_up thumb_down +67

What is a cow's favorite place to go? The slaughterhouse.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

why was the tolit stoped up. because it had phoo

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What was the fly doing in the soup? Nothing, the guy ordered pizza.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

A: Is this the Krusty Krab? B: No, this is Pizza Hut. Please stop prank calling us.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's the difference between Rebecca Black and your mom? Nope! Chuck Testa.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Q: What was so funny about the death of Michael Jackson? A: There wasn't anything funny. He was one of the best pop stars ever and many people loved him.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

How do you scare a plumber? Kill his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the schoolgirl say to some of the people of Anti-Joke.com? You're sick. Stop talking about the Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Q: Knock, Knock A: To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the black man fall off the building? The building was one of the twin towers and the event 9/11 was currently happening and he saw one of the planes coming at him so he decided to jump to his misery instead because he thought it will hurt less, also he thought that if he waited for the plane to hit him there is a possibility that one of the wings may hit him right on the neck and his head will get chopped off and he wanted to die with his body completely attached.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

I got a new jacket. The jacket had real cotton inside the sleeves. The next day my new jacket was gone, but the one i bought yesterday wasn't.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A Horse walks into a Bar The Bartender runs for his life as he is tripping on acid and believes the horse is a sheep. He doesn't like sheep.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Where's Wally? In a children's book.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's the difference between a bird and a wheel? They both fly, I lied about the wheel.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What do you call a baked bean falling from 10,000 feet? A baked bean

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A Russian gentleman walks into a bar and requests a vodka which the bartender promptly supplies. Shortly thereafter a Turkish gentleman enters escorting a Llama on a leash and requests a vodka to which the bartender responds: "Your animal is not allowed on the premise, I am going to have to ask you to leave." The Turkish gentleman apologizes for his ignorance of the local customs and excuses himself, and shortly thereafter the Russian finishes his Vodka, pays, and leaves as well.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What is faster than a black guy stealing a TV? His brother with a DVR

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Roses are red Violets are blue Your ugly

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops