Someone dies every second. That's 60 a minute. 3600 a hour. 86,400 a day. 604,800 a week. 31,536,000 a year. But thankfully- I don't live in Zimbabwe.

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What do you call a man with no head? Nothing he has no ears.

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If an asian man is really angry with a jewish man named gabriel what does he say? Gabriel I am angry with you

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You know what they say about people with big feet? Big shoes.

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What did Jesus say when he was nailed to the cross? AHHHH WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS!?!?!? MY HAND!!! MY HAND!!! AHHHHHHH!!!!! JUST KILL ME!!! PLEASE WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?!?! MY OTHER HAND AHHHH!!! HAHAAAAAAAAAaaaa..... AHHHHHHH WHY?!?! MY LEG!!!! MY FOOT NO!!!!! PLEASE!!!!! Ah AH AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAA HAHAHAaaa WHYYYYYYYYY!?

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Yo mama so fat she has to wear large clothes

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There once was a man from Madrass, whose balls were made out of brass. This was incredibly embarrassing for him, and rendered him infertile and impotent, which in turn affected his relationships with women.

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What is the difference in a dead dog in the road, and a dead black guy in the road? One was a dog and one was a human being..

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Why was the fish disappointed with his grades? They were all below C-level!

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Q: What is the difference between a Ginger and a shoe? A: A shoe has a sole

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what's the difference between a dolphin and a ghost? dolphins aren't ghosts!!

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A Jewish boy walks up to his father and says: Dad, can I borrow 50 dollars? The dad responds: 40 dollars?!? What are you going to do with 30 dollars?!?

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"Doctor, Doctor I think I am a pair of curtains" The man was swiftly referred to the psychiatric ward.

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What does it take to write a good joke? A punchline

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Two men walk into a bar. The third seeing the protruding bar goes home to find his entire family dead from anthrax.

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What did the prostitute eat for lunch? Nothing because she was too busy performing oral sex for money.

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A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

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Know what would be awkward, if a GPS told a gay guy to get straight.

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knock knock. who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant

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What'd the left nut say to the right nut? How's it hangin?

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Religion.

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Did you hear about the kid-napping in Minnesota? He woke up

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what has two legs and bleeds? half a dog

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Why couldn't the blonde make ice cubes? Because recently she has been missing payments on the elictric bill because of economic hardships.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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